Monday, December 31, 2007

Reasons (Who Needs Reasons?) To Be An Evil Clown, 191 - 200

Contemporary philosophical perspectives highlighted and 'derided' in unnatural sex acts of a Casey Kasem homage?

191. Meaningless as all purpose

192. Voted 'Most Likely To Disgust' before dropping out

193. I see my job as consoling you

194. You're always letting us humans down

195. My job does me

196. Drunkards paradise

197. Her eyes, glazed with lust

198. I react in real life situations in the same fashion that I would react in a gaming situation

199. Moral panic

200. That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die



Joking about utopia gets you into trouble.

  • Evil Clown


  • Evil Clown Media Credit: Fool Laments Hamlet, Ink On Paper

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    Saturday, December 29, 2007

    The Smell Of An Evil Clown; Fear And Loafers

    Are you easily embarrassed? Do you you fear the attention of an audience? Do people laugh with you; or at you?

    Have you noticed that if an evil clown senses your fear they will glom onto you and rope you into their act in front of God and everyone?

    So you pretend not to be afraid, you try not to let them smell your fear, or worse, you act like you hate clowns intensely.

    Now that may put off an amateur, someone who simply slips on a nose to pull a one-off office prank.

    But to a real clown you have just marked yourself out as a challenge, and the best kind of mark:

    • They can smell your fear.
    • Even if you win you lose.

    You're going to get some uncomfortable attention. You don't like attention do you?

    You really won't like the kind of attention you are about to get.

    And the clown, the clown wants attention, all kinds of attention, just look at the way their dressed. Look at how they act. Why would anyone want, or need, that kind of attention?

    Any half-bred clown is going to make you look like spunk smeared on an underwear ad in front of the everyone no matter what you do.

    They've either thought it through before hand, gone over it, or been through it many times already.

    They know all the moves you could make and they've got an arsenal of counter moves fully primed.

    They know the angles. They see you coming. They've trained like commandos.

    Maybe they'll let you take the first shot. Perchance they'll just jump on you at the first sign of resistance, hesitation or fear.

    But pros usually work over amateurs with a handicap to keep things interesting.

    Who's in control here? Some clowns love power. But is it more powerful to pretend to give power away?

    Even if it blows up in their face and they look like a fool in the end, guess what? They win, they are a fool, they got attention. And you, you look like a mean sob without a sense of humor and you just got a lot of attention you didn't want.

    - - - - -

    What makes it so dammed funny?

    According to James Beattie (1776):

    Laughter arises from the view of two or more inconsistent, unsuitable, or incongruous parts or circumstances, considered as united in complex object or assemblage, or as acquiring a sort of mutual relation from the peculiar manner in which the mind takes notice of them.

    E.g.:

    Season's Greetings:

    I wanted to send your family a Christmas Card of a monkey making love to a shaved beaver, but I have to have it copyrighted first. So, instead (now that the photo shoot is over), I am sending you a real monkey, a beaver, half a bottle of Viagra and 6 tabs of ecstasy.

    Merry XXX-Mas,

    Litotes The Clown

    An evil clown is as empty and as full as a bible full of blank pages.



    Evil Clown drawing:
    Evil clown smells your fear and likes to point you out for special attention.

    Ink on paper.

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    I Hate Clowns, No I Really Do

    Do you have messed emotions about clowns?

    Do clowns give you a funny (funny strange, not funny Ha Ha) feeling?

    Do you wonder what kind of people are 'under' there?

    Maybe you're not afraid of clowns... you're just, 'you know', annoyed, irritated, on-edge, whatever; definitely not afraid, it's not like you hate them or anything...

    Do you think it is disgusting that they have a big Schtick?

    Do you find even tiny feminine seeming clowns monstrous?

    Have you ever seem a child dressed as a clown and thought you were seeing the future?

    Do you wonder: are they twitching or acting that they're twitching?

    Do you know what makes someone mentally unstable, clinically speaking?

    Do happy clowns with abnormally high levels of good cheer put you on edge?

    Do you suspect drug usage?

    Do you ever wonder why someone who is depressed or angry or wants to be alone or hates people or whatever gets dressed up in a clown outfit and goes on a bender?

    Does someone; made up in too much makeup like a cheap whore or celebrity make you uncomfortable or arouse you Winston?

    After all, here is a person: A man, a woman, gender neutral, purposely obscured, naturally ambiguous, cross-gendered clown or a child even... What do you even call a transgender clown who cross-dresses?

    What does it mean that clowns beat and abuse each other for the amusement of others, but their ringmasters won't allow them to write "fukcmachine" on their tiny 10 clown car because it's obscene!

    To Do:

    Research: find a movie about a possessed evil clown was pitted against a possessed evil marionette(s).

  • Evil Clown


  • God is talking to himself, pretending he's us...
    - The Invitation (2003)

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    Thursday, December 27, 2007

    Razones de ser un Clown Malvado

    Abashed the Devil stood, And felt how awful goodness is, and saw Virtue in her own shape how lovely; saw And pined his loss.
    - Milton, j. , Paradise Lost (bk. IV, l. 846)

    The grotesque is modern culture, or the vacuum that [it] has replaced with wrestling, sex and horror.

    Thankfully there are few real studies of the phenomena that have any real grit or practical use.

    This failure is your ally. A blind spot alley down which to appear and disappear.

    Masturbatory theories of the neoclassic foundations of repulsion or aesthetic philosophies of revulsion or Existential nausea are based didactically and dialectically upon the the ideation of beauty and rationality, or sometimes, extrinsic hostility.

    So what?

    Subservience to the subversive nature of post modern endocrinology is practical and more opaque than then the self serving grief of deconstuctivism.

    It is to laugh.

    In the cracks of the veneer you are free. Once free; there is no veneer, only uncertainty and practical methods remain.

    Reasons To Be An Evil Clown, 181 - 190


    181. Evil pays, well

    182. Spectacular death – no mundane accidents

    183. Revenge no longer an empty or idle wish

    184. Evil is always more delicious

    185. Credit card debt nightmare

    186. Penguin Lust

    187. The customer is more or less a sucker, always

    188. I can't handle the Truth

    189. I tell myself I can't stop

    190. Doubting is treason, treason is delicious


    Die Clown Die - In German It Means 'The Clown The'
    How Could Anyone Who Speaks German Be Bad?

    Simpson's logic, Episode: 9F22 Cape Feare


  • Evil Clown


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    Saturday, December 15, 2007

    Why I Am An Evil Clown And You Could Be Too, 171- 180

    Bad Apples Theory Exposed As So Much Compost

    Remove your mask and/or makeup and change into Walmart clothes A.S.A.P. subsequent to a manifestation, so that you can't be easily identified with any 'action' that may be with any incident that may be contrary to your ongoing operational status.

    Make an effort to act like a normal person, but don't over do the gentleman/lady routine too much, you'll stick out like a missionary in a bad neighbourhood

    171. Soulful self mutilation

    172. Dare not offend mighty Zeus

    173. In the ant farm flipping the bird outward

    174. Despite all my rage I am still just ready to cave

    175. 2w0 0bscur3 4 u

    176. Smells like desperation

    177. Intolerance is my anti-drug

    178. Gosh Darn Epigenetics! http://www1.qiagen.com/Applications/Epigenetics/Default.aspx?gaw=epig

    179. Odious Tasks create strange past-times

    180. The things I'll do for money, you'll never understand

    The very definition of a great punchline:

    ...the evaluation of the quality of jokes is a realistic goal for the linguistic analysis of humor, albeit a distant one that will require extensive research (Attardo 1994: 215).


  • Evil Clown


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    To Effectively Compete An Evil Clown Needs More Than Scary Face

    There Are 3 Methods To Differentiate Yourself From Other Evil Or Scary Clowns

    1.Cost leadership

    Let's face it, magicians are great and kids clowns with clean records can almost be trusted, but do you have any what idea what they will charge for a party?

    Just show up as someone's brother-in-law and hustle the bar until you are ready to preform.

    2.Differentiation

    What makes YOU stand out from other evil clowns?

    OHhh, scary leer/face paint/baseball bat [sigh].

    Try to spend more than five minutes thinking [Thinking] about it, the first five things you have thought up have been covered by evil clowns who have come before you, e.g.:

    Off colored jokes
    Filthy language
    Offensive humor
    Drunken behavior
    Intimidation tactics

    diu le lo moe if you expect more than a yawn for this shi

    Think about your Unique Sales Proposition

    3. Locus, Locus, Locus

    Concentrate on one Tight Orifice – work it vigorously, meet the needs of your target better than the competition can even dream of doing to cultivate customer loyalty. Then dump them and move on.

    Dreams Are The Disease

  • Evil Clown


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    Friday, December 14, 2007

    Schadenfreude Clown Gründe für Vergnügen, 161 - 170, mmm!

    Reasons to be an Evil Clown - Ripped from todays shocking headlines!

    161. Scary Clowns cheat to win, Evil Clowns win to cheat

    162. I prefer to see existence in terms other than those of rigid philosophical dichotomies, or not

    163. Backbreaking personal sacrifice for external validation by authority figures needs to be mocked

    164. If you think I'm funny now, just wait 'til we have sex

    165. I believe EVERYTHINK happens for a reason

    166. Cleanliness is next to managerliness

    167. I'm not an evil clown, I just like to wear the shoes on weekends

    168. Deeply played games

    169. We are not what was intended

    170. Don't worry babe, I'm angry enough for the both of us

    Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor Rapacious desire like blood all over the floor


  • Evil Clown



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    Thursday, December 13, 2007

    Evil Clown Passes Camel Through Eye Of Needle To Piss Off Poor

    "The eye of a needle" is part of a phrase attributed to Jesus by the synoptic gospels...

    ...I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. [Matthew 19:24]

    The parallel versions appear in Matthew 19:23-24, Mark 10:24-25 and Luke 18:24-25.
    A rich frat boy asked Jesus what he should do in order to inherit eternal life. Jesus, known as a witty guy, replied that he should keep the commandments (Moses, remember him?), sell his possessions (no really) and give all his money to the poor (no, really). And then, once having given up shallow materiality should follow Jesus in poverty (no, really).

    The Phat Boy asked if there was, like, any loop holes or donations or some such thing.

    Jesus then turned to his impoverished disciples and made he famous remarks.

    The Rich Kid was unwilling to do this, he and rich people have been filling up hell ever since.

    But there is now good news for the super filthy rich.

    1. Camels have become surprising cheap in recent years, not that expensive at all really.

    Camel Classified Ads: http://www.camelphotos.com/cgi-bin/ads.cgi


    2. New Food Processor technology combines pump and grinding operations. With highly calibrated angled cutters combined with rending, tearing and grabbing action and supplimental feeds to additional cutters and tubes to assist in solids reduction. This terrifying machine does more than just grind stuff up, it can pump it out under pressure in course, medium or particle size stuff under high pressure.

    http://news.thomasnet.com/fullstory/483595

    3. A Rich Australian Evil Clown has finally passed an entire camel through the eye of a standard needle under high pressure.

    4. For a reasonable fee this service will soon be available to other rich bastards.




    Meek Might Inherit Earth After The High And Mighty Leave

  • Evil Clown


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    Wednesday, December 12, 2007

    Jesus Loves PornStars

    Evil Evil Clown expostulates on the need to comfort the salacious


    Between two thematically slutty devices: Zechariah’s announcement of John’s Vocation and the Litotes The Clown contemplation of the nature of sexuality and porn, creates a juxtaposition of rough cut scenes propelling an erroneously erotic digital framing of vivid sin that plays with itself in an ongoing, and often astonishing, intercourse between dialectic bodies of Passion, Knowledge and Chance.

    Herein, then, are the broad thrusts and impelling upstrokes of compelling intensity that so enrapture an unanimously anonymous audience.

    Let me explain:

    I perform at a great many porn shows and sex conventions, I have a lot of free time while not on stage. You get friendly with people and start making friends. Also, as a way to kill time I started to Minister to the 'Talent' and Booth Bunnies of the porn industry. My plan was to reach out and to touch pornstars in a deep and personal way.

    We often discuss hair and makeup, exchange t-shirts with slogans or just hang out in our thongs being friends.

    In between fellatio and circumcision jokes I like to wedge in a little knowledge about the path to salvation for [God’s] people through the acceptance and forgiveness of their sins” (Luke Ford 1:77)

    As Zechariah puts it, a clown's mission is to “get [in] before the Lord, break the ground and to pave his way, to give knowledge, of salvation, to his people, by the forgiveness of their sins” (Luke Ford 1:76b-77)

    You may ask yourself: Does Jesus really love porn stars? Absolutely! All the time! Now that may go against what you thought about Jesus - but it's really true.

    You see Jesus really loves pornstars as much as he loves pastors, soccer moms, alter-boys, liars, thieves, and politicians.

    In his eyes, we are all the same. He can barely tell us apart without our tramp stamps. We're all just people in need of a big Savior who can come into our world and fill up our lives.

    The Bible says that we are all screwed up. Whether you're having sex with multiple partners at scale for a limited liability Internet start-up, working at Starbucks, or running a church; we are all sinners.

    And despite this fact, Jesus really, really loves us. He is not angry with us. He is not too busy for us. He isn't waiting for us to get our crap together and get off of Ecstasy and Viagra. He just says come. Come now. Check out what I have for you. It is greater then you can bare, it's bigger than you could ever imagine.

    Lately I have been experimenting with giving away an expurgated New Testament Bibles inscribed with 'Jesus Digs Pornstars' in glitter on the cover as free gift for a a donation.

    As you might have guessed, it has been harder then expected and deeply satisfying. But that won't stop my outreach.

    At least the tshirts are doing really, really well.

    Also: To read erotic God Loves Pornstar stories go here: http://xxxchurch.com/blog_home.php?b=confessions

    Photo Credit:
    robotgoboom
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dammit/
    Adultcon 2007
    Los Angeles Convention Center
    September 22 2007
    http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=1427907546&size=m&context=set-72157602122231308#cc_license


    Sex: It's ALL fun and games until someone loses and eye. - Litotes The Clown

  • Evil Clown


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    Monday, December 10, 2007

    Evil Clown Gang Bang

    Sadcore American Folk Artist Opts For A Technical Degree

    Study gist:


    To comprehend current criminal gangs Evil Clowns will need to garner greater powers of discernment to systematize and implement these basic techniques along with a comprehensive analysis of police, intelligence services, paramilitary forces and other competing commercial concerns.

    As well as studying and practising theoretical and practical criminal gang behaviour, deviance and business models, the Evil Clowns will also play both sides of the fences by practising surveillance, counter surveillance, intelligence and counter intelligence.

    Your final project will be either:

    Creation of a new street level gang
    Working criminal syndicate
    Gang infiltration for anti-gang agencies
    Gang infiltration for a competing gang

    Advanced projects include:


    Middle-clown or go-between
    Double, triple agent or higher
    Turning a gang or syndicate legit

    . . .



    Litotes has no idea who created this tasteless animation, but I found it here: randompeople.org/mdowned.gif

    Sigh.


  • Evil Clown



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    Gründe, ein schlechter Clown, 151 - 160 zu sein?

    If a butterfly flaps it's wings in Etobicoke the Japanese will turn to Disco.


    The great strength of Evil Clowns lies in their open concealment; let them never appear in any place by their own True name, but always concealed by another name, a silly name, a pithy name, a Screen Actors Guild (British Actors' Equity Association) name, their Clown Name and the accoutrement of their debauched and farcical occupation.

    None is fitter for the exercise of the actual wickedness necessary for the transmutation of public morality and ethics into the exigencies of power and control than the lowest degrees of Jesters, harlequins and farceurs.

    The public craves their excesses as voyeurs, expects little intelligible or sensible from them, and therefore takes little notice of their nefarious purposes and activities (or those from whom they distract attention from), while wallowing in the salacious improprieties their of their shenanigans.

    Why else are episodes, accounts, tales and exploits of sordid forbidden libidinal energy moralized again and again in scintillating and visceral detail?

    Robinson, J., "Proofs of a Conspiracy", 1798, Western Islands (reprint)

    Reasons, a bad clown, 151 - to be 160

    151. Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light

    152. Illegitimi Non Carborundum is Latin for abandon all hope you that go in by me

    153. The idealistic romance of a grand purpose

    154. I'm good with numbers but don't have the personality to be a mathematical logician

    155. Crushed in public by peer-review

    156. Coworkers secretly call lay-offs and firings 'emancipation'

    157. America's obese children need to be scared straight

    158. Prefer God over girls or boys or both

    159. Dropped acid before every ABC After School Special

    160. Can no longer tolerate pop culture

    Evil Clowns:

    A - A group of people with no self respect
    B - A government with money to burn
    C - Belief that we were greeted as liberators

  • Evil Clown

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    Sunday, December 09, 2007

    Clown Mauvais, Raisons D'être Des 141 - 150

    I'm all about empathy and baseball bats

    141. Trust yourself; distrust the world

    142. Chemical imbalance in the brain

    143. Irregular brain develpment; what the fen do neuropsycholigist know

    144. This too is an exit

    145. Your horror amuses me

    146. I can only park in front of my house 15 days a month?

    147. Must occupy myself inbetween dreams of deathless sleep

    148. An evil clown illuminates the thought and mind of the audience by contrasting the power of vision

    149. Evil Clowns and Ministers of Grace defend us from Ourselves

    150. My religious aunt always said: Make yourself familiar with Evil Clowns, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you – she was a sick twisted old woman

    Great literature is replete with pithy statements.

  • Evil Clown


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    Clown Mauvais, Raisons D'être Des 141 - 150

    I'm all about empathy and baseball bats


    141. Trust yourself; distrust the world

    142. Chemical imbalance in the brain

    143. Irregular brain develpment; what the fen do neuropsycholigist know

    144. This too is an exit

    145. Your horror amuses me

    146. I can only park in front of my house 15 days a month?

    147. Must occupy myself inbetween dreams of deathless sleep

    148. An evil clown illuminates the thought and mind of the audience by contrasting the power of vision

    149. Evil Clowns and Ministers of Grace defend us from Ourselves

    150. My religious aunt always said: Make yourself familiar with Evil Clowns, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you – she was a sick twisted old woman

    Great literature is replete with pithy statements.

  • Evil Clown


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    Friday, December 07, 2007

    Evil Clown Bites Journalist To Teach Dog Lesson

    Evil Clown, Reasons To Be An 131 - 140

    131. Turn your backside on ignorance

    132. Only by serving dark desires may I save myself from the coming conflagration

    133. 'Abomination' no longer a politically acceptable form of self-address

    134. Pushing my feelings down at work forces them out at high pressure in other places

    135. There is this very real need in society for someone whom almost anyone can look down on and ridicule; I intent to point you out

    136. The suburbs make me break out in hives

    137. To repudiate morality while laying claim to it

    138. 'Touched By An Angel' aroused me basely, but left my higher virtues hot and bothered

    139. Ripped off my face only to discover mask

    140. It's only widdershins depending upon your point of view


    The Black Dog is Back and so Is the Clown

    Clown is Back the so Is and Dog Black the

    Is The Black Clown Back and so is the Dog

    so, Is the Black Dog The Back and Clown is?

    and, is so, the.. Is The Black Clown Dog Back

    Why am I so sad?



    Truth metastasized into lurid fantasy:
  • Evil Clown


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