Why I Am An Evil Clown And You Could Be Too, 171- 180

Bad Apples Theory Exposed As So Much Compost

Remove your mask and/or makeup and change into Walmart clothes A.S.A.P. subsequent to a manifestation, so that you can't be easily identified with any 'action' that may be with any incident that may be contrary to your ongoing operational status.

Make an effort to act like a normal person, but don't over do the gentleman/lady routine too much, you'll stick out like a missionary in a bad neighbourhood

171. Soulful self mutilation

172. Dare not offend mighty Zeus

173. In the ant farm flipping the bird outward

174. Despite all my rage I am still just ready to cave

175. 2w0 0bscur3 4 u

176. Smells like desperation

177. Intolerance is my anti-drug

178. Gosh Darn Epigenetics! http://www1.qiagen.com/Applications/Epigenetics/Default.aspx?gaw=epig

179. Odious Tasks create strange past-times

180. The things I'll do for money, you'll never understand

The very definition of a great punchline:

...the evaluation of the quality of jokes is a realistic goal for the linguistic analysis of humor, albeit a distant one that will require extensive research (Attardo 1994: 215).

Evil Clown

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Jesus Loves PornStars

Evil Evil Clown expostulates on the need to comfort the salacious


Between two thematically slutty devices: Zechariah’s announcement of John’s Vocation and the Litotes The Clown contemplation of the nature of sexuality and porn, creates a juxtaposition of rough cut scenes propelling an erroneously erotic digital framing of vivid sin that plays with itself in an ongoing, and often astonishing, intercourse between dialectic bodies of Passion, Knowledge and Chance.

Herein, then, are the broad thrusts and impelling upstrokes of compelling intensity that so enrapture an unanimously anonymous audience.

Let me explain:

I perform at a great many porn shows and sex conventions, I have a lot of free time while not on stage. You get friendly with people and start making friends. Also, as a way to kill time I started to Minister to the 'Talent' and Booth Bunnies of the porn industry. My plan was to reach out and to touch pornstars in a deep and personal way.

We often discuss hair and makeup, exchange t-shirts with slogans or just hang out in our thongs being friends.

In between fellatio and circumcision jokes I like to wedge in a little knowledge about the path to salvation for [God’s] people through the acceptance and forgiveness of their sins” (Luke Ford 1:77)

As Zechariah puts it, a clown's mission is to “get [in] before the Lord, break the ground and to pave his way, to give knowledge, of salvation, to his people, by the forgiveness of their sins” (Luke Ford 1:76b-77)

You may ask yourself: Does Jesus really love porn stars? Absolutely! All the time! Now that may go against what you thought about Jesus - but it's really true.

You see Jesus really loves pornstars as much as he loves pastors, soccer moms, alter-boys, liars, thieves, and politicians.

In his eyes, we are all the same. He can barely tell us apart without our tramp stamps. We're all just people in need of a big Savior who can come into our world and fill up our lives.

The Bible says that we are all screwed up. Whether you're having sex with multiple partners at scale for a limited liability Internet start-up, working at Starbucks, or running a church; we are all sinners.

And despite this fact, Jesus really, really loves us. He is not angry with us. He is not too busy for us. He isn't waiting for us to get our crap together and get off of Ecstasy and Viagra. He just says come. Come now. Check out what I have for you. It is greater then you can bare, it's bigger than you could ever imagine.

Lately I have been experimenting with giving away an expurgated New Testament Bibles inscribed with 'Jesus Digs Pornstars' in glitter on the cover as free gift for a a donation.

As you might have guessed, it has been harder then expected and deeply satisfying. But that won't stop my outreach.

At least the tshirts are doing really, really well.

Also: To read erotic God Loves Pornstar stories go here: http://xxxchurch.com/blog_home.php?b=confessions

Photo Credit:
robotgoboom
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dammit/
Adultcon 2007
Los Angeles Convention Center
September 22 2007
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=1427907546&size=m&context=set-72157602122231308#cc_license


Sex: It's ALL fun and games until someone loses and eye. - Litotes The Clown

Evil Clown

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Idiot, Fool, Emperor, Clown

Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus the Clown

Republic Freedom vs. Despotic Tyranny is often touted as the major theme of the book by Robert Graves and subsequent BBC miniseries I, Clavdivs [I, Claudius] (both are highly rated and enjoyable entertainments).

Is that really so true I wonder? Is it not more likely that the major preoccupation of the work is the Fool on the Wheel of Fortune?

Claudius sums up his life to himself:

I love liberty: I detest tyranny.
I have always been a patriotic Roman.
The Roman genius is Republican.

I am now, paradoxically, an Emperor.

He goes on at length to list all the other paradoxes and follies of his beliefs vs. his ultimate circumstance. There are too many to list.

The farcical beliefs of others is also too lengthy to list, but, just for a taste: several characters believe they are Gods and one believes himself to be Jesus Christ.

Confused at how things have come to this turn, Claudius gets the gist out of a dying 'friend'.

Claudius asks: 'Vitellius, in a better age you would have been one of the most virtuous men alive: how was it, then, that your upright nature acquired a sort of permanent stoop from playing the courtier?'

[Vitellius] said: 'It was inevitable under a monarchy, however benevolent the monarch. The old virtues disappear. Independence and frankness are at a discount. Complacent anticipation of the monarch's wishes is then the greatest of all virtues. One must either be a good monarch like yourself, or a good courtier like myself - either an Emperor or an idiot.'

[Claudius] said: 'You mean that people who continue virtuous in an old fashioned way must inevitably suffer in times like these?'

[Vitellius said:] 'Phaemon's dog was right.' Vitellius lapsed into a coma and died.

Context and discussion here: Phaemon's dog was right
Reference here: Phaemon's dog was right

The tone is more tragic than comic, which, maybe, why, the ride of Fortune's Fool is overlooked. And tragic it is because of the nature of the monarchy (despotic power) is destined to corrupt everything and everyone around him. Ultimately he bows to inevitability, abandons (publicly) his ideals and pushes the bloody wheel forward with a few helpful prods.

Written it the early 1930's Europe between the wars and the rise of fascism; do you wonder what Graves was thinking about?

Claudius' epiphany is that despite it all he is just a Fool with a Sceptre.

Struck again with inevitable betrayal and tragedy and wracked with painful emotions he mentally equates himself with, and emotionally identifies with the 'other'. He is at the height of his power and what thought crosses his mind?:

'At the first Games I ever saw... I saw a Spanish sword-fighter have his shield-arm lopped off at the shoulder. He was close to me and I saw his face clearly. Such a stupid look when he saw what had happened. And the whole amphitheatre roared with laughter at him. I thought is was funny too, God forgive me.'

- Claudius the God

And God forgive us all.

Apparently this phenomena of a book is the work that Graves least liked himself, but it is the one that he is remembered for.

Evil Clown

Evil Clown resource:

Medieval European Jesters and Fools (See picture above).

Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Who watches the watchmen?
- Juvenal


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Clown Comics contain strange and dirty stuff.

Nick Bakay was a contributing editor at the National Lampoon — in particular, the Evil Clown Comics.

Personal History and Family are important stuff, that's what memories, drunken binges and your act usually depend upon.

Like a parasite, Evil Clown Comics wormed it's way into the hearts and minds of decedent youth in the pages of National Lampoon.

These national treasures of evil clowning are available online.

A word to the wise: they are dated (originally written in the 80's and early 90's), they are filthy, and, well... evil — born of a time when a young dreamer name o' Bakay was ever so slightly embittered and pissed off at the world. Ah, youth... Enjoy!

Evil Clown No. 4
You Can't Go Home Again

Especially when you're the red-nosed black sheep of a well-to-do family. But you can go on a trip rampage down memory lane with the drunken uncle who first taught you how to make a giraffe out of a condom.

Read You Can't Go Home Again

Or go here to see the Evil Clown Archive

or check out his home page, which has something to to do with sports: Nick Bakay

Evil Clown

"He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do."
- Max Payne

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