Clown Zeroes In On Theories Of Emotional Twistedness

My Bad ?!? The Worst Day Of My Life

My head is overloaded
Cats claw at my skin
I'm dehydrated
All the flags are waving, sirens fill the din
And I've got the shakes again

Through a boozy fog I see
It's emotions that are killing me
A forgotten whisper on my lips
Make it stop
Let me out

I'm standing on the corner with a balloon dog in my hand
Hands shake the feeling from my finger tips
Being and nothingness spiral crazily
The gun's still warm and the fear comes on
What is life but a reprieve from death?

Evil Clown

If I can't blame you, who can I blame?
- Litotes The Clown


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Evil Clown Passes Camel Through Eye Of Needle To Piss Off Poor

"The eye of a needle" is part of a phrase attributed to Jesus by the synoptic gospels...

...I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. [Matthew 19:24]

The parallel versions appear in Matthew 19:23-24, Mark 10:24-25 and Luke 18:24-25.

A rich frat boy asked Jesus what he should do in order to inherit eternal life. Jesus, known as a witty guy, replied that he should keep the commandments (Moses, remember him?), sell his possessions (no really) and give all his money to the poor (no, really). And then, once having given up shallow materiality should follow Jesus in poverty (no, really).

The Phat Boy asked if there was, like, any loop holes or donations or some such thing.

Jesus then turned to his impoverished disciples and made he famous remarks.

The Rich Kid was unwilling to do this, he and rich people have been filling up hell ever since.

But there is now good news for the super filthy rich.

1. Camels have become surprising cheap in recent years, not that expensive at all really.

Camel Classified Ads: http://www.camelphotos.com/cgi-bin/ads.cgi


2. New Food Processor technology combines pump and grinding operations. With highly calibrated angled cutters combined with rending, tearing and grabbing action and supplimental feeds to additional cutters and tubes to assist in solids reduction. This terrifying machine does more than just grind stuff up, it can pump it out under pressure in course, medium or particle size stuff under high pressure.

http://news.thomasnet.com/fullstory/483595

3. A Rich Australian Evil Clown has finally passed an entire camel through the eye of a standard needle under high pressure.

4. For a reasonable fee this service will soon be available to other rich bastards.




Meek Might Inherit Earth After The High And Mighty Leave

Evil Clown

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