Monday, August 14, 2006

Psycho Meat Puppet Theatre Of The Mind

Evil Clown Drawings: I Like What You're Thinking, Ink On Paper

This evil clown act involves hilarious screw-ups and misdirected rescue behaviour.

The clown is trying to 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' trick the audience or other performers into feeling sorry for them.

Rules Of Thump:

1. Don't take responsibility for your so called lif (abbrev. for liff, see: The Meaning of Liff (Paperback) by Douglas Adams & John Lloyd).

2. Don’t take any action that might lead to a solution, don't DO anything to get yourself out of funny situations. However, you must keep very busy – drama follows action.

3. Get into difficult if not improvable or paradoxical positions. How doesn't matter, give them the old razzle-dazzle. Not everyone will buy the BS but the gullible and aroused will believe and you can use their emotions against them.

4. Act helpless until you want something or they are within easy striking distance.

5. Do I Have to mention Whiney?

6. Make it obvious that you want and believe that others can make your existential existence better.

Pantomime Horse:

1. Sickness, accidents, family deaths, loving/abandoning pets, suicidal behaviour and crying during soup commercials are your stock and trade.

2. Realistically but subtly exaggerate pain to exact sympathy and get out of helping friends move.

3. Heartache: She said I looked like her 4th husband.

Bore Issues:

1. Anyone who loves me must be too stupid to see how defective I am so I'll screw them up before they discover how worthless I am and leave me.

2. Harm & Indulgence tissues – better than Kleenex.

3. Entitlement is the flip side of sexploitation.

Player Character Background:

1. I only get taken care of (not loved) when I ma ufcked up or in pain.

2. When in doubt act infantilized, if you can't spell that act spoiled.

Conscious Bot: You make me un/happy. Situations I magically fall into are untenable.

Unconscious Bot: You will rescue me because it's your fault and I'm hapless.

Doesn't Play Well With Others:

Let's focus on why Mary is hurting my feelings for no reason.

Jesus is being such a jerk!

Other Characters:

Only potential rescuers need apply.

Words That Are Not In The Dickionary:

Assertive & Responsible.

Queue For Big Scene:

Must make a decision / take action Or enter pain.

Common Freelings & Associates:

Listening, sympathy, suggestion giving, supportive, rescue response, guilt, empathy burnout, frustration leading to resentment, take a hike you brat.

Treatment:

I am neither Spanish nor a lawyer nor a Spanish lawyer.

Scoring:

Remember, the game here is not to get 'something' out of life or Do anything, the game is played by various forms of complaining and half hearted but ultimately planned/failed attempts at competence.

1. Points are counted by gaining sympathy and empathy.
2. Free rides count for triple points.
3. Repeated conning of the same mark is a 25% total bonus.
4. Guilt (from others) is good (0.5pt).

Catch 22:

Fulfillment of desire leads to regression which destroys source of gratification which leads to rescue which fulfills desire...


  • Evil Clown


  • "What sick, ridiculous, puppets we are, and what a gross, little stage we dance on. What fun we have, dancing and fucking, not a care in the world. Not knowing that we are nothing."

    Somerset, se7en

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    I'll Eat Anything As Long As It's A Baby

    Man vs. Clown!


    I'll eat anything as long as it's a baby:
    Veal, lamb, puppy.

    As long as it hasn't had a chance to really live.

    Life experience makes the meat tough.

    Innocence makes it sweet and tender.

    - Peter Lynn,
    Things I said, but shouldn't have #12



    Peter Lynn's way of thinking is way off key.

    He should be ashamed of himself.

    He will have a very short-lived and lonely life if he keeps this up.

    He has made such a joke of it all, and Lord help him. One day he will stand in front of God and have to explain his actions.

    He can either change his ways or find himself spending eternity in Hell.

    In another post he reveals his sensitive side with a coworker:

    "Can I talk to the baby?" I ask.

    "Sure," she says.

    I bend close. "Your mommy's worthless," I say.

    - Peter Lynn

    Check out his blog and other ' Things I said, but shouldn't have'

    Man vs. Clown!
    Old blog http://manvsclown.blogspot.com/


    Evil Clown Art: Theosophist Trembles In Ecstasy

    Theosophists have been infected with a suspicion of the overwhelming splendor of the clown cycle in which our humanity forms but ephemeral shadows.

    Mixed media on 100% rag paper

    Evil Clown

    -----

    Around about now in history:

    August 1930 - The debut of the Amos and Andy show on NBC (radio) starring Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll, was it:

    - A ground breaking positive influence
    - Racially offensive stereotyping
    - A once profitable franchise flogged to death

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    Friday, August 11, 2006

    Boulevard Of Broken Clowns

    Do I Walk Alone

    Evil Clown Art, Title: chorus: thinking about drinking; drinking about thinking... Media: paper on ink

    Common Mistake 1: Drinking to “catch up” if arriving late to a party Or I'm happy that others are now too inebriated to pay attention to their booze in the fridge.

    Common Mistake 2: Having sex under the influence Or waking up every morning screaming “It's not mine!”

    Common Mistake 3: Driving after drinking Or during drinking, so you can get to the liquor store, so you can buy more.

    Common Mistake 4: Women thinking they can drink as much as men Or panty pealer.

    Common Mistake 5: Drinking to feel better Or 15 to 20 minutes of euphoria you can only vaguely recall.

    Common Mistake 6: Thinking that others at university are drinking excessively Or frig, I was worried that I had a problem, but look at that guy! Go! Go! Go! GOOOO!.

    Common Mistake 7: Leaving drinks unattended Or some frigger may take your drink Or woe to they that leave their drink unattended – I'll teach them a lesson.

    Common Mistake 8: Taking Tylenol (Acetaminophen) to help with a hangover Or absolutely anything I can get my hands on OR nothing, I deserve to suffer.

    Common Mistake 9: Thinking food will sober you up quickly Or hurting myself until I can feel something again.

    http://www.mcmaster.ca/health/hwc/Newsletters/nov04/thinking_about_drinking.htm


    Litotes The Clown

    ...and tired of thinking about drinking
    for thinking of drinking while thinking
    about drinking and thinking about drinking
    It's a man-sized inside...

    The Tragically Hip, Eldorado www.thehip.com

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    Paper Cuts And Insomnia Incongruity And Societal Criticism

    I Can’t Remember Where I Hid The One True Good

    Evil Clown Sketch: Sometimes It Hurts To Be Crazy, Pencil on Paper

    The monstrous can not be unqualified and produce funniness. Whereas it may be weird, it must also clash with harmony so that, like, we can, you know, compare and contrast it to that superannuated ideal.

    I am Sailing To Ganymede and my fingers get up and walk away.

    Those plebes’ whose ambitions are inessentially pedestrian are in themselves a grotesque warning of the yearning for the false solace of currency and the implications of victory over others, over the system and the demands of self for self demands.

    In the same moment they deem simple rules and procedures concerning how to handle the dangerous substances of good and evil as self evident and, further more, that these principles are fixed and resist all attempts at relativism or the troubling mundane circumstances of day to day mortal life.

    Like the fact that my fingers are a big spider.

    Contest these hack philosophical questions simile predestination vs. free will, why evil clowns prosper and the towers of our self projects fall into ruin, despair and fevered introspection and what is justice or the good anyway and why the hell should I care anymore? After that poisonous little princess tossed my heart into the ashes!

    Why should I even try when I'm this tired. I wouldn't even be writing this if Julie didn't have a loaded camera to my head.


  • Evil Clown


  • The Consolation of Philosophy? Comic irony is meaningless.

    - Litotes The Clown

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    Thursday, August 10, 2006

    How to Make It Big In Spite of Your Hang-ups

    Vigorous Repetition Of Basic Techniques May Lead To Mastery Or Slavery

    Evil Clowns' Fine Art Painting titled: Sometimes I Let The Paint Take Control, Acrylic On Canvas

    Envisage for an unspecified interval of time that it is 5 annum from now; ideally this would take you less then 5 annum.

    Are you still getting the same amount you are now? Or maybe just a little more? Are you discontented, flummoxed and deeply ungratified?

    “Hold on a hog tied minute” you are saying to yourself “this is not the encouraging pillow talk and the semi-lucid, if somewhat suggestive prose, I have come to expect from this fine information focused, noncommercial, content driven, informational, edifying, educative, elucidative, enlightening, explanatory, instructive, authoritative, informed Evil Clowns Internet website.”

    Just hang on to the edge of the bed for a minute and trust me, this is coming somewhere.

    Most folks take action long after it is too late.

    They squirm in the steely clutches of their own indecisions and animal responses. They undulate rhythmically under the inevitable convergence of everything that rises. They utter pleas and groans like pleasant incantations against eternity. Relax.

    Do not delude yourself that this self same scenario could not happen to you, is not happening to you right now. From a certain point of view (POV) we are all in the middle of slow motion actions and accidents that we can’t yet see or feel, but are about to come.

    When you can see it coming, all of life is prolonged foreplay for what may later seem to be an unmitigated frenzy of thrashing action pounding against the walls of our comfort zone. At least let's hope so.

    So, is repeated repetition the silk road to mastery or the hobgoblin of little minds or, somehow, both?

  • Evil Clown


  • I wish I could think of anything funny to say.

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    Tuesday, August 08, 2006

    Insight Into The Mind Of An Evil Clown

    Thoughts And Things From The Mind Of Ronald McDonald – Proudly 92% White Trash

    Evil Evil Clown Drawing:
    LOVE your work, work your LOVE
    Medium: pilfered office suppliers on printer paper

    Ronald McDonald's Blog
    ronaldmcdonaldusa.blogspot.com

    This is a must see sight for those who have any misgivings about:

    Big "M" Supper Club
    Der Schotte
    Donken
    Evil Clown
    Golden Arches
    Gronald's
    Impastato's
    Macca's
    Maccen
    MacDee
    MacDoh
    MacDohNo
    Mackey-D's
    Mackidånnkan
    Mackies
    Mækker'n
    Mak Kee 麥記
    Mäkk
    Mäkkäri
    Makku
    Makudo
    McChoke and Pukes
    McDeath
    McDee
    McDee's
    McDick's
    McDo
    McDonal
    McDonald
    McDonaldos
    McDonas
    McDoof
    McD's
    McEvilClown
    McPuke
    Mec
    Mek
    Meki
    Mekkes
    Mekki
    Mickey-D's
    Moulée de clown
    Old Mak 老麥
    Old Nick
    Pat Panepinto Mart
    Placcy-D's
    Ronchin Ronnies
    Rotten Ronnie Oddo's
    Rotten Ronnie's
    Rotten Ronnys
    Rottin Ronnies


    For another side of the greasepaint, see:

    http://www.mcdonalds.com
    http://www.ronald.com

  • Evil Clown


  • For the last eight years I have documented coercion, threats, intimidation and manipulation by McDonald's and Leo Burnett Advertising against me due directly to my work as Ronald McDonald.

    - Joe Maggard, former Ronald actor, 2003


    I feel badly about what I've done with young people. I was the happy face on something that was horrendous.

    - Geoffrey Gulliano, former Ronald actor who later embraced vegetarianism

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    Monday, August 07, 2006

    Oh My Dog It Is Happening Again

    Success Is The Sum Of Small Efforts, Repeated Over And Over Again

    Platitudes And Bromides – Acrylic On Paper

    You are more important than your problems

    What is evil?

    See things as you would have them be instead of as they are

    What is murder?

    You win when you aren't afraid to lose

    What is War?

    Happiness does not come from doing easy work

    We have never lost a war

    Everything is possible when you believe it's possible

    The French have nothing to teach us

    You must act on your dreams

    A shot that shook the world

    People with goals succeed

    Depravity

    It comes from the reserves of your mind

    Lunacy

    Successful action has cumulative results

    Execution

    There is always a good side

    At 71 Eddie Adams died

    Photograph, Pulitzer Prize - 1968
    South Vietnamese Colonel executing a communist North Vietnamese Vietcong prisoner in a Saigon street

    Your life will always be to a large extent what you make of it

    Summary justice

    You really can live your dreams

    Orgy of death

    You have to make your own opportunities

    Shameful

    There is no easy road to anything

    Heroic

    Overcoming obstacles is the price of success

    Pride

    It gives you the ability to rise above reality

    Chaos

    Courage gives you the power to face your difficulties

  • Evil Clown


  • One should always keep an open mind, but not so open that one's brains fall out

    - Bertrand Russell

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    Everyone Wears Masks - Every Clown Has Personas

    Sometimes, Behind The Mask Or The Paint There Is No Face

    A hollow perfect facade, a clown's mask hides; nothing. Our panic and anxiety don't mark us out as unique or special; they make us interchangeable.

    This Job, This Life, Is Erasing Me - Mixed Media On Paper


    There is an idea of an evil clown; some kind of abstraction.

    But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory.

    And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable...

    I simply am not there.

    American Psycho (2000 (film not book))

    ... he's a clown without a face
    A sound to fill their silence, a soul that leaves no trace
    Every happy song is drowned in, drowned in sorrow
    Yet no one sees the tears in his eyes
    His dreams are gone, no special song, no tomorrow
    No chorus as his spirit slowly dies

    - Piano Player, Words by John Murphy, Music by David Sinclair

    Feeling went away in the fire
    And the fire is still burning
    Someone said that we are all liars
    It's amazing what I'm learning
    All the words you say
    When you talk and you talk that way
    Burn and melt away
    We cry and we die

    Hide ourselves inside the sarcasm
    The whisper of your name
    Another game of jokes and laughter
    Clown without a face

    - Last Time Out, Skywire by Common Children

    We are the hollow men
    We are the stuffed men
    Leaning together
    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

    T. S. Eliot (1925)

  • Evil Clown


  • This isn't really who i am, is it?
    - Litotes The Clown

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    Saturday, August 05, 2006

    Litotes The Clown Monkey Dream

    Evil Little Monkey Impersonator

    Negotiation Time : Acrylic On Paper

    There are little monkeys all over the place, tiny ones, like spider or green monkeys. They can sit on your shoulder. They seem friendly, but keep their distance.

    It's hard to keep track of them all as they jump around chattering at each other amiably.

    It's a big, if gloomy, enclosure; ropes, trunks, simulated trees and a few toys. It's just blackness above, with no sign of a door. But there's no hurry.

    Their friendly play is everything we go to the zoo for.

    The monkeys freeze. Screaming, they run around ricocheting off the rocks, couches, trees and walls. But they can't leave. Something has gotten in with them.

    A predator. Is it him? The howling and frenzy increases and I check over my clothes to see if I'm wearing anything that might be wrong.

    Impossibly fast it bounces around like a rocketing rubber ball. The concaphony and fear are intense. I chases it around and try to stop it or distract it from the monkeys, but it is small, low and fast.

    Off a particularly rubbery wall rebound, it attaches itself to my leg. There is no sensation of impact, only the wrap-around grip. It looks up at me and grins.

    Nausea, revulsion and fear are only words.

    Desperate shaking becomes frantic kicking, becomes wild unbalancing spasms. The grinning monkey is unmoved. With slow deliberateness it sticks it's ass out, then thrusts its hips forward and begins humping my leg.

    The howling of the others has become a distant wall of sound compared to my breathing and struggles. They are gone; hidden or immobile to the point of invisibility. It doesn't matter anymore. They don't matter anymore. I have to get it off.

    It gathers steam like a lascivious locomotive, the movements oddly mechanical, a machine cranking itself over in fits and jerky starts. Penetrating my leg with an organic and bloody squish squish.

    Nothing will shake it loose or knock it off; my hands, leg, the ground or useless bits of woods and debris.

    Its going at my leg in a frantic rhythm now. It licks and bites my thigh and looks up at me with raised brows on a quizzical and bloody face.

    My screaming is a constant siren.

    The world is a blur of thrashing background and monkey howls.

    At every thrust the pen is getting longer. I feel it under my skin. It turns metallic, the claws and teeth are bloody and deep, the pain sears through my body overtaking all other torments.

    I beat at its head ineffectually with a stick, cutting and bruising my leg. I want to cut it off.

    The monkey face is a paper mask. Behind it, a tiny human face begins to sweat through, a look of gleeful, spasming eyes in an unending fit of ecstasy. The needle pistons higher, about to enter my body.

    Rolling on the ground over rocks, desperate and on fire.

    Thrashing and sweating I awake and rub my leg, I run my hands through my hair. I find the light and rub my leg again.

    Time to go to work.

  • Evil Clown


  • I went looking for clowns and found only the evil apes of their ideas
    - The Clown who was Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

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    Thursday, August 03, 2006

    Contemporary Audience Appauled At Clownish Figure

    The Appearance Of Perception: Echoes In A Cube Farm

    Evil Clown Drawing Medium: Office issue green pen on standard printer paper

    In this original graphic art the artist has skillfully adapted their unnatural surroundings and appropriated material from the corporate culture. This petty subversion may be interpreted as inversion of the formulaic hierarchy of capitalist taxonomy.

    This contemporary 'at hand' exploration of graphic media and visual relationships cleverly under-renders the tonal values and spacial grounding of the subject to great effect. One can feel the numbed horror of these sparse sketchy lines.

    The overall emotional impact is as restrained as the muted logic of accident victims in shock. Through the tunnel of the thousand yard stare we see ourselves: Not seething with rage. Not the slave owners of destiny. We are hillbillies at the mall - He's got a real pretty mouth on him, don't he?

  • Evil Clown


  • Mrs. Taylor: Dr. Hathaway, I saw your show the other night on radioactive isotopes and I've got a question for you.
    Dr. Hathaway: Yes?
    Mrs. Taylor: Is that your real hair?

    - Real Genius, 1985

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    Wednesday, August 02, 2006

    International Violence Some Sort Of Unresolved Freudian Thing

    Shopping slash to do or is it ta da?

    Marshal for war

    Troops of horsemen

    Columned soldiers

    Fleets of ships

    The foulest splendor the harsh earth can belch up

    Rewrite Sappho the clown


    In Death evil clowns are left to lie
    And no one will remember them

    At all

    In all the days yet to come
    They have had no share of wine or roses
    From this world their ghosts expelled
    Roam amoung the broken and strengthless dead
    In Hell they will be ignored


  • Evil Clown


  • If you can't think of anything funny to say - show you're nuts.

    - Litotes The Clown

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