Super Achievement For Dummies

Let me see through all the lies
I know I'll succeed in time
I always believe, tell me why
Your every curse and elegant word
Everything I've ever heard
Still rings in my head
When things have cleared I'll be dead
I sleep and in my dreams I die
Frightening and strangely sublime
I always wake, I don't know why
At my best I feel slightly absurd
They say it's all in my head
But am I not easily lead
Mostly the truth is left unsaid



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Reasons To Be An Evil Clown 101 - 110

Litotes The Clown is an emissary of pity, and science, and progress, and devil knows what else.

101. Shock and awe backfire

102. The Buddha is a short, fat, dead guy who is never coming back

103. Jesus is a tall, thin God who will be right back

104. I have some... you know, unresolved childhood issues, but those records are sealed

105. Anti-essentialist politics employ the inclusive identity politics of racist hierarchy but fail to understand its ultimate rationalization

106. All The Horror, Half The Casualties

107. A Frown Is Just A Smile Turned Upsidedown

108. Post-Traumatic-Stress-Reorder

109. Sometimes, success can ask for blood, sweat and tears, even our own – or that of innocent little children or inoffensive old people

110. All's Hell That Ends Hell

Evil Clown

Then I realized they were stronger than we. They have the strength, the strength to do that.

If I had 10 divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly.

You have to have men who are moral and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling, without passion, without judgment... without judgment.

Because it is judgment that defeats us.

Goodnight kids, get some sleep, it's an early day tomorrow.

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Idiot, Fool, Emperor, Clown

Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus the Clown

Republic Freedom vs. Despotic Tyranny is often touted as the major theme of the book by Robert Graves and subsequent BBC miniseries I, Clavdivs [I, Claudius] (both are highly rated and enjoyable entertainments).

Is that really so true I wonder? Is it not more likely that the major preoccupation of the work is the Fool on the Wheel of Fortune?

Claudius sums up his life to himself:

I love liberty: I detest tyranny.
I have always been a patriotic Roman.
The Roman genius is Republican.

I am now, paradoxically, an Emperor.

He goes on at length to list all the other paradoxes and follies of his beliefs vs. his ultimate circumstance. There are too many to list.

The farcical beliefs of others is also too lengthy to list, but, just for a taste: several characters believe they are Gods and one believes himself to be Jesus Christ.

Confused at how things have come to this turn, Claudius gets the gist out of a dying 'friend'.

Claudius asks: 'Vitellius, in a better age you would have been one of the most virtuous men alive: how was it, then, that your upright nature acquired a sort of permanent stoop from playing the courtier?'

[Vitellius] said: 'It was inevitable under a monarchy, however benevolent the monarch. The old virtues disappear. Independence and frankness are at a discount. Complacent anticipation of the monarch's wishes is then the greatest of all virtues. One must either be a good monarch like yourself, or a good courtier like myself - either an Emperor or an idiot.'

[Claudius] said: 'You mean that people who continue virtuous in an old fashioned way must inevitably suffer in times like these?'

[Vitellius said:] 'Phaemon's dog was right.' Vitellius lapsed into a coma and died.

Context and discussion here: Phaemon's dog was right
Reference here: Phaemon's dog was right

The tone is more tragic than comic, which, maybe, why, the ride of Fortune's Fool is overlooked. And tragic it is because of the nature of the monarchy (despotic power) is destined to corrupt everything and everyone around him. Ultimately he bows to inevitability, abandons (publicly) his ideals and pushes the bloody wheel forward with a few helpful prods.

Written it the early 1930's Europe between the wars and the rise of fascism; do you wonder what Graves was thinking about?

Claudius' epiphany is that despite it all he is just a Fool with a Sceptre.

Struck again with inevitable betrayal and tragedy and wracked with painful emotions he mentally equates himself with, and emotionally identifies with the 'other'. He is at the height of his power and what thought crosses his mind?:

'At the first Games I ever saw... I saw a Spanish sword-fighter have his shield-arm lopped off at the shoulder. He was close to me and I saw his face clearly. Such a stupid look when he saw what had happened. And the whole amphitheatre roared with laughter at him. I thought is was funny too, God forgive me.'

- Claudius the God

And God forgive us all.

Apparently this phenomena of a book is the work that Graves least liked himself, but it is the one that he is remembered for.

Evil Clown

Evil Clown resource:

Medieval European Jesters and Fools (See picture above).

Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Who watches the watchmen?
- Juvenal


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Yog-Sothoth In A Clown Mask

Disfunction Junction - Evil Twin Clowns From Calcutta Circus


Shaking through the core of my body, near my diaphram, like the irregular fluttering of my father's heart before his pacemaker, out to all the reaches of my bio-empire.

My hands vibrate like too much coffee, adrenoline overload and drug problems. Which is what it is. The sweats and sensory distortion, well, it makes for a bad day. Yog-Sothoth in a clown mask.

I'm afraid to go out, pick up the phone, or open email. Cthulhu works through compression.

Inside, my tidal forces are turbulently trying to align with the new moon of more drugs. I am at the high tide of dosage on a bloody beach of human bones.

Outside my life is waiting for me. Outside my life is going on. Outside my life is going by. Which is the dream?

The Old Ones my father told me about press in warping them like the sweating plaster walls of a badly sealed grow-op.

Is it better than the vertigo, falling into doorframes, knocking pictures off the wall, panic, anxiety and the hospital?

A change is as good as a rest.

I am forcing myself to eat and drink.

I am keeping busy with porno, house cleaning, and scalping old music from the internet.

The shakes should pass soon, I know in my head, and I will go back to real worries. The Outer Gods will retreat again, sleep again.

There is so much I have to do. It is hard to keep a grip on myself and everything else.

I can't think of a metaphor beyond my own trembling body and the eerie whine of half heard incantations.

Evil Clown

Magic, you want magic? I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

##

Clown Comics contain strange and dirty stuff.

Nick Bakay was a contributing editor at the National Lampoon — in particular, the Evil Clown Comics.

Personal History and Family are important stuff, that's what memories, drunken binges and your act usually depend upon.

Like a parasite, Evil Clown Comics wormed it's way into the hearts and minds of decedent youth in the pages of National Lampoon.

These national treasures of evil clowning are available online.

A word to the wise: they are dated (originally written in the 80's and early 90's), they are filthy, and, well... evil — born of a time when a young dreamer name o' Bakay was ever so slightly embittered and pissed off at the world. Ah, youth... Enjoy!

Evil Clown No. 4
You Can't Go Home Again

Especially when you're the red-nosed black sheep of a well-to-do family. But you can go on a trip rampage down memory lane with the drunken uncle who first taught you how to make a giraffe out of a condom.

Read You Can't Go Home Again

Or go here to see the Evil Clown Archive

or check out his home page, which has something to to do with sports: Nick Bakay

Evil Clown

"He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do."
- Max Payne

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Evil Clown Love Monkey

Reasons To Be An Evil Clown, 91 - 100!


4th Little Monkey, Evil Clown Sktech, Ink on Paper

91. I am the last link in an unbroken ideologically chain of the Illuminati, the Federal Reserve, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Secret Team running the US federal government and the United Nations

92. John Birch Paranoid Blues

93. Free pamphlet from gun sale at local church really made sense

94. Missed one minimum payment

95. Sometimes I think about holding pencils in front of my eyes and smashing my face into my desk

96. Wanted to sellout, but couldn't find any buyers

97. Sex Without The Base Alloy Of Love

98. One of the Madonnas

99. I hate therefore I am

100. Failure is an option, and very likely

Evil Clown

"You look thin [Victor]."
"It's all those drugs, Dad."

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Reasons To Be An Evil Clown, 81 - 90

Clown Woken From Dreamy Slumber Into Annihilative Action


Evil Clown Drawing: It's a slow world, just show me the highlights - ink on paper

I Can't Seem To Stop...

81. MKULTRA

82. Epiphenomenalism

83. Must combat vast Trotskyist conspiracy that is controlling the media

84. Truthiness

85. The happiness of Baby Jesus is paramount

86. Great cover to distance yourself from the establishment

87. Pre-antipenultimate counter-revolutionary before my time

88. Absolute corruption leads to absolute power

89. A funny thing happened to me on the way to my grave

90. I am a stooge for secret higher powers

-----

I'm responsible for one winged angels.

Evil Clown

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Evil Clown Dissected By Academia To Highlight Personality Deficiencies To Her Friends

Science Firmly Proves Academic Isn’t Getting The Point

Recent studies on clown psychology have introduced innovative models of identity configuration progression and open new insights into how clowns contract their identity(ies).

Early modal bonding is the foundation of (and on) emotional and cognitive intersubjectivity (see: http://attachment.edu.ar/intersubjectivity.html). Stiff individuation and subsequent sublimation of the self, first in clown-academic confrontation and then in post identity formation are the basis of theoretical social+-ego integration.

It is rightly acknowledged that clown–academic bonding lubricates mutual realization of the subjectivity of the other. However, it is presumptuous to presume that the ideation of the process would be greater relatedness and/or identity penetration because of the relationship.

Indeed, it is healthy and natural that turgid individuation must itself rupture the close and intense clown–academic liaison.

Variance of motion in the instance (and the subtext) of clown–academic conflict is the realization and hyperextension of a deep-seated contempt which must burst the rigid confines and firm boundaries of the relationship or shatter the self.

These theories aid in conceptualizing the discrepancies noted by progressive theorists which have traditionally been seen as parities.

Less sophisticated models of attachment have dumped these aspects of the academic’s experience like so much cheap used tissue.

Because of the nature of the participants and some clowns’ reputation for mirth, merrymaking and affable nature, it is necessary to dispel bigoted notions about academics’ inability to express humour, appreciate humour or deliver a punchline.

It has been correctly noted:

…that [academics] who …share their humor, generally do not use the [clown] forms of humor …because they simply are not the best tool to facilitate their communication goals... [T]he "one-two punch line" form of most traditional [clowning intercourse] simply doesn't appeal to most [academics]…

- Women Rarely Prefer the Quickie. L. Naranjo-Huebl. Paraphrased from FPS:WHMBCR. Accessed 2005-11-26. http://www.fnsa.org/v1n4/huebl1.html

Which reminds me of a joke I heard recently:

Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series.

The first one says: "Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?"

The second one asks: "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!"

V. Runde. Math Jokes. Accessed 2005-11-26.

quod erat demonstrandum

T. Dolby, 1988. Aliens Ate My Buick: Airhead. Access 2005-11-27. http://www.thomasdolby.com/reference/lyrics_aliens.html

Close and careful scrutiny of previous studies reveal grave mechanical deficiencies in clowns’ masculinist and androcentric values. Frequently a clown’s inadequacy is sheathed as humour, namely: pranks, insults, put downs, practical jokes, riffs, rants and brief tongue lashings.

Yet, upon reflection, it becomes quickly all too obvious that their nature, despite claims to the contrary, is neither supportive nor caring.

Clowns obviously have a deep-rooted fear based aggression that attenuates the organ of identity, manifesting as the need to humiliate, debase and subjugate others both psychologically and physically. This is often done under the guise of public charm or in extremis during intimate and private communication.

On top of which, specious anecdotal evidence is often used to ‘prove’ that clowns are funnier than academics, as where we have shown that clowns are not funny, they just think they are.

But what I really want to know is why the evil clown doesn’t call?

-----

"Are You going to allow intolerant cultures to go on?"
- Litotes The Clown

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This Morning I Finally Killed That Puppy I'd Been Saving

Do you profess destruction and hatred as a duty?

Do you find blind obedience and foolish devotion distasteful in yourself but attractive in your minions?

Is it that one day you woke and realized that that you don't have to pretend anymore? That it is exhausting pretending to be a regular clown but saucy to be a twisted little shaved ape?

I enjoy telling fundamentalist clowns that we evolved from slugs, I like to look smugly on while they quote the bible and just keep repeating phrases like "dinosaur shit", "Davinci code" and "homo marriage".

Conservative clowns get: "The United Nations", "World Court", "socialized medicine", a 'hug' and so on.

I enjoy discussing the bible with so called liberal clowns (but any excuse will do), particularly Genesis, which I often have to explain is not just a Star Trek device from the Wrath Of Khan movie or an ancient 'progressive' rock band from Europe.

I will often insist on praying for people publicly and aloud. If the ground is not too dirty I like to unexpectedly take to my knees and beseech the Lord on their sinful behalf.

I talk to everyone about the loneliness and uncertainty in their lives, their longing for deeper meaning and unconditional Love in the midst of our vapid, confusing and uncaring world.

Then I like to ask them which brand names represent their highest ideals and aspirations for human kind in the next century.

I randomly take their words and cultural codes, or that of their 'enemy', and twist them into a mobius shaped balloon dog of gastrointestinally demoralizing befuddlement.

But the sad truth is that most clowns are just too stupid to carry on much of any kind of conversation, and slap stick wears thin pretty fast, especially if you are on the wrong end of the the shtick.

Have you ever had a long funny banter with someclown only to realize later that they were perfectly serious, maybe, even, angry?

How many people who profess belief or disbelief in Gods and Monsters have ever read the whole Bible? In order??

It is boring to talk to clowns who do not understand, let alone are willing to admit, that they have contradicted themselves.

Why does the super hero NEED the super villain?

Maybe loneliness?

Those who publicly and privately argue (or kill) about different kinds of ISMS are just the disposable ideological chess pieces of someone else's wrestling match.

Quod Erat Nacho Libre.

Why, oh why, lord, good lord, is everyone else so obsessed with men in tights and diapers?

Read my finger.

- Litotes The Clown

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