This Morning I Finally Killed That Puppy I'd Been Saving

Do you profess destruction and hatred as a duty?

Do you find blind obedience and foolish devotion distasteful in yourself but attractive in your minions?

Is it that one day you woke and realized that that you don't have to pretend anymore? That it is exhausting pretending to be a regular clown but saucy to be a twisted little shaved ape?

I enjoy telling fundamentalist clowns that we evolved from slugs, I like to look smugly on while they quote the bible and just keep repeating phrases like "dinosaur shit", "Davinci code" and "homo marriage".

Conservative clowns get: "The United Nations", "World Court", "socialized medicine", a 'hug' and so on.

I enjoy discussing the bible with so called liberal clowns (but any excuse will do), particularly Genesis, which I often have to explain is not just a Star Trek device from the Wrath Of Khan movie or an ancient 'progressive' rock band from Europe.

I will often insist on praying for people publicly and aloud. If the ground is not too dirty I like to unexpectedly take to my knees and beseech the Lord on their sinful behalf.

I talk to everyone about the loneliness and uncertainty in their lives, their longing for deeper meaning and unconditional Love in the midst of our vapid, confusing and uncaring world.

Then I like to ask them which brand names represent their highest ideals and aspirations for human kind in the next century.

I randomly take their words and cultural codes, or that of their 'enemy', and twist them into a mobius shaped balloon dog of gastrointestinally demoralizing befuddlement.

But the sad truth is that most clowns are just too stupid to carry on much of any kind of conversation, and slap stick wears thin pretty fast, especially if you are on the wrong end of the the shtick.

Have you ever had a long funny banter with someclown only to realize later that they were perfectly serious, maybe, even, angry?

How many people who profess belief or disbelief in Gods and Monsters have ever read the whole Bible? In order??

It is boring to talk to clowns who do not understand, let alone are willing to admit, that they have contradicted themselves.

Why does the super hero NEED the super villain?

Maybe loneliness?

Those who publicly and privately argue (or kill) about different kinds of ISMS are just the disposable ideological chess pieces of someone else's wrestling match.

Quod Erat Nacho Libre.

Why, oh why, lord, good lord, is everyone else so obsessed with men in tights and diapers?

Read my finger.

- Litotes The Clown

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