Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Evil Clown Thanks Baffled Boy With World's Stupidest Fear

In This Stolen Moment An Unknown Jester Controls The Fate Of Innocent Commuters

He has only just realized that he is gripped by an apparently irrational fear.

A Daily train ride
A garage at Booterstown
A bad stretch of track

I picture the fiendish, desperate and emotionally suffocated drivers giddy on thoughts of mass transit death or suspension - throttling up the train at the weak spot, wearing away a flaw, seeing how far they can rock the train.

One passenger laughing white knuckled as a tremor buckles down the train.

The Baffled Boy


A look at the lure of love, culture, superficial desire, the pursuit of happiness, Ireland and how to be human without the user manual.

The Baffled Boy: Evil Evil Clown

  • Evil Clown




  • That Clown murdered them, I swear
    I saw it with my Spy Cam
    And it was sad

    Title: Nightmare Of The Clowns
    Artist: Shut Up And Dance

    ##

    Sunday, February 26, 2006

    Evil Clown Inquires: Divine Design Predestined For Extinction?

    Obfuscation And Rapid Speciation Lack Social Proof, Lose Intellectual Marathon, But Might Win Marketing Sprint In Ideas' Darwin Awards

    Some clowns are sensitive to the point of genocide about their point of view:

    my anthropomorphic projection of a 'supernatural' manifestation can beat up your anthropomorphic projection of a 'supernatural' manifestation any day you filthy animal.

    I try to avoid laughing at other people – is it impolite and disrespectful on a personal level?

    Note to self: avoid making obvious fun of those wielding blunt objects or pointed sticks.

    But I say 'avoid' instead of using an absolute qualifier, because hey, if your Dog isn't big enough to take a joke, fuck'em.

    Am I not alarmed by Creationists or the advocates of Intelligent Design you may ask.

    There are a great many false and more widely held beliefs all around us. But hasn't there always been? And, doesn't that imbalance usually tip heavily towards ignorance and idiocy?

    What dying culture can't look back and not discern some rashness of couth?

    It must be hard, sometimes, for the moderate or self restrained to bring themselves to believe the notion that whole nations can rise from the couch and move themselves to war (and beyond) under the banner of patently obvious nonsense, blatant fabrication and or lies.

    How much more so is it to find that inconsequential abstractions, faery stories, and other rep-prehensile tails breed and proliferate like the lower creatures in the darkness between our ears?

    Neither is it not uncommon for a clown or a tromp of clowns with the more, temporarily, transitorily or transhistorically 'right' idea to be persecuted and crucified by the ignorant, the fearful, the bureaucratic, the intellectually lazy, the intolerant, other clowns and the dread et. al.

    What makes me think that it is not mostly this way or that most of the time?

    Occluded and deluded, darkness has o'er swept the earth many times and in many guises.


    Can you not feel it all around you, even now?

    All that is underlying the shock and anxiety of discovering that vast numbers of other clowns have remarkably dissimilarly inaccurate grips upon the eels of truth, conduct and the self-evident, is, if not necessarily a freedom, then a complacency, that has been temporarily bought on the bloody and tattered shoulders of giants and indeterminacy.

    Sheltered, or perhaps to put it more contemperroneously, living under a glamour thou the messy truth were all about you.

    Peace on earth for clowns of good will is not an affirmation but a disparate supplication.

    In much of the world today and throughout history, people of intelligence and good taste find themselves living solitary lives or clandestinely seeking the companionship of secret societies - living in fear of discovery and plotting to make the world more en-lightened up.

    But why not be optimistic, in the long run? In the free marketplace of ideas, in the survival of the truest, or more temporarily useful, what do you think will happen to Creationism, Divine or Intelligent Design?

    Will it thrive? Or, is it destined for extinction?

    Perhaps it will be a footnote.

    Hopefully not a bloody one.

    For myself, I leave this footnote:

    I have it on good authority that it can not be argued that it is only anecdotal that scientists make lousy marketers and politicians.

  • Evil Clown


  • -----

    Origin Of The Specious

    Nevertheless, as our verities certainly do occasionally revert in some of their characteristics to ancestral forms, it seems to me not improbable, that if we could succeed in neutralizing, or, as it were, to cultivate, during many generations, the several races for insistence, of the adages, of even very poor toil, that they would to a large extent, or even wholly, convert the conditions of life and character.

    - Litotes The Clown, Sigh

    -----

    Image et son dans FAHRENHEIT
    http://www.cine-studies.net/etudes/fahr451.html

    Bug
    http://www.kuwaitnews.com/

    ##

    Thursday, February 23, 2006

    Evil Clown Contemplates narcissistic desparation

    Semi-Private Struggle With Privacy And Identity

    i'm aiming for 'fish of the day'

    stop! stop it! stop the screaming damnit!

    (trust me, not funny ha ha ;)

    Check it out:

    when hell freezes over

  • Evil Clown


  • As Siddhartha said, life is suffering, life is an illusion, life generally sucks – especially for other people.

    Litotes The Clown said, the Buddha is a short, fat, dead guy who is never coming back.

    Do You Have Anything To Add?

    ##

    Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    Clown Election

    A Sensual Throb… You’ll Want To Embrace Again And Again

    Two clowns share a studio and apartment. Mickey is a sculptor. Billy is a painter.

    They are taking a quick break from their respective projects.

    But, the beer is gone!

    The drugs all smoked!

    The empties are all returned and the penny jar empty!

    Bantering and bickering, jiving and jabbing and vying for control, these attributes seem to be affecting their positions in the mysterious polls.

    Who’s winning?

    Clown Elections is ultimately about the relationship between two clowns, with all its power struggles, love, and challenges.

    a vital, bloody art form that has a power to affect, an immediacy, a sensual throb… you’ll want to embrace again and again.

    The Question Is The Answer
    In This
    New Absurd Black Comedy

    www.clownelections.com


  • Evil Clown


  • "an election is no time to discuss serious issues"

    Kim Campbell, the nineteenth Prime Minister of Canada

    ##

    Monday, February 20, 2006

    It's Clown Porn (The Movie)

    'Dude, clowns...'

    It's sexy! It's zany! It's like a train wreck that you just can't pry your eyes away from - ...It's Clown Porn (The Movie) and it's taking the world by storm!

    Starring:
    starring AVN Award Winner Hollie Stevens
    Jenna Brooks
    Zenova Braedon

    Runtime:
    2 hrs
    Filmmaker:
    Ramco Productions
    Distributed by:
    Old Pueblo

    With a sure-fire following amongst circus clown fetishists

    Media lightning hit for Ramco when Clown Porn actresses Jenna Brooks and Hollie Stevens were featured on the "Stupid Bowl" segment of the Howard Stern radio show on Feb 4th[2005].

    In an all-nude competition that included popping balloons by sitting on them, dildo golf and sausage singing, Brooks was declared unanimous winner out of four contestants and was awarded a $5000 cash prize.

    Reportedly, Stern was irritated by Brooks and Stevens wearing circus clown make-up, which he felt detracted from their overall hotness.

  • Evil Clown


  • Cold noise echoes onto my ears
    The air is alive with piercing screams
    And burning clowns
    The horror does me good
    I’m hungry
    Let’s get a taco

    - Litotes The Clown

    ##

    Sunday, February 19, 2006

    The RSVP Clown Club is sponsoring two benefit fund-raisers for the Slaughter family of New Matamoras

    I Did Not Make Up The Title Or Mid-Ohio Funnier Than I Thought

    What Does the Slaughter surname mean?

    Occupational name for a slaughterer of animals, from Middle English slahter (an agent derivative of slaht ‘killing’).

    Topographic name from Middle English sloghtre ‘boggy place’, or a habitational name from a place named with this term (Old English slōhtre), for example

    Upper and Lower Slaughter in Gloucestershire.

    Topographic name for someone who lived by a blackthorn or sloe, Old English slāhtrēow.

    RSVP
    Répondez S'il Vous Plaît (French: Please Reply; commonly seen on invitations)

    ReSerVation Protocol

    Resource Reservation Protocol

    Retired and Senior Volunteer Program

    Rapid Serial Visual Presentation

    Renewables for Sustainable Village Power

    Reading, Spelling, Vocabulary, Pronunciation (book)

    Revolutionary Surrealist Vandal Party

    Rare Symmetry Violating Processes

    Rice Student Volunteer Program (Rice University)

    Reconstructive Surgeons Volunteer Program

    Root Specific Vocabulary Puzzles

    Research Society for Victorian Periodicals

    Research Study Volunteer Program

    Resources for Sexual Violence Prevention (University of Chicago)

    Matamoras

    OH (village, FIPS 48286)

    ICBM address: 39.51863 N, 81.07047 W, Elevation 599
    Population (1990): 1002 (447 housing units)
    Area: 0.9 sq km (land), 0.1 sq km (water)

    Coincidence or Conspiracy?

  • Evil Clown

  • One spot begins with a man carrying a large roll of carpet through a laundromat. He struggles with the carpet as he tries to load it into a washing machine.

    A voiceover asks, "Need something?" as text appears on the screen.

    A Yellowpages.com search box appears and the words "Body Removal" are typed in.

    The voiceover continues, "To find it locally you need Yellowedpages.com."

    The spot closes with the tagline,

    "Moron, We wrote the book on local search."

    ##

    Dreamt Of Clowns Crying At Your Grave?

    A Dream Of Evil Clown Interpretation: Anxiety Manifestation, Wish Fulfillment or Visitation?

    Dream symbol: clown clown, clowns, clowning, clowned

    AKA: cut-up, droll farceur, fool, harlequin, madcap, merry-andrew, mountebank, pierrot, prankster, punchinello

    A compulsive need to force laughter and panicked merriment into your bleak, traumatic and facile existence.

    A dark shadow cross the mind slipping in be tween the ears when you are defenseless.

    It has long been a dream in itself, of seers, oracles and other dilettantes of mind, of magic and equivocation, to capture the essence of dreamed clowns.

    To find the codes and apply the ciphers that will reveal the meaningful content of dream.

    This includes the caging of Evil Clowns. They have oft' proclaimed success at having forced the buffoon into one box or another. Trite.

    It is fine and well to wax poetic or scientific about archetype, culture or the emotional patterns of dreams, to play at transcending the endless diversity of dream content or to fool ourselves.

    Nowadays, hardly anyone believes that dreams are messages from the gods. Do they?

    But the clowns themselves care nothing of this.

  • Evil Clown

  • I have some... you know, unresolved childhood issues, but those records are sealed.

    - Litotes The Clown

    -----

    Imagine Source:
    Gothic.Ru
    http://dark.gothic.ru/sur/clown/come.html

    ##

    Saturday, February 18, 2006

    Evil Clown Explains How To Render Fat

    Make Your Own Soap

    Begin with fresh clean fat.

    Delicately cut away all traces of sinew, cartilage, bone and muscle. A very sharp thin bladed knife works well.

    Cut into chunks or cubes.

    Heat the fat in a clean large and heavy pot or casserole dish on low heat.

    Evil clown tip: to speed the process cut fat into smaller pieces.

    Stir occasionally using a large clean long handled cooking spoon until completely melted.

    Strain the liquid fat through a double cheese cloth directly into a clean soap making pot or glass jar.

    Evil clown safety tip: slow warm the glass first with hot water, dry thoroughly and use immediately to avoid cracking or shattering.

    This process removes impurities and debris.

    Cover tightly and store in the fridge for later use if you are not making soap immediately. Mason jars work well.

    Please note this can be a very odorous and arduous process. conduct it in a well ventilated area – many prefer to conduct the process out of doors.


  • Evil Clown


  • Tyler was full of useful information.

    -----

    Science image:
    Radiologische Gemeinschaftspraxis
    http://www.pruenergang.de/cases/mrt14_e.html

    ##

    Friday, February 17, 2006

    Evil Clown Negotiates Behavioral Interview

    How to beat this Human Resource Management (HRM) FAD

    Interviewers are generally not looking for self centered porn surfers who like to get loaded at business dinners, back stab other departments, taking files home at night, looking for a better job with the competition and don't plan on working 'in this hole' any longer than they have to.

    Behavior-based interview
    Personal experience interview

    What is a behavioral interview?

    It is a trick.

    Overtime, everyone tends to ask the same kinds of questions. The questions become pretty well known and consequently so do the ‘right’ answers.

    “So Ken, you want a McJob, can you answer a few questions for me? Great:

    If you had a date planned, but I called at the last minute and asked you
    to work, what would you do?”


    You job is not just to lie, but lie well. Take time to prepare answers and justifications. Resist impulses to snicker, roll your eyes, stare through interviewer or wonder if the uniform would melt to their skin if it caught on fire.

    It might hurt but smile a little and make eye contact.

    Simple strategies its true, but it is surprisingly effective at fooling those doing the hiring while they are trying gauge your capacity for soul crushing labor, abuse and humiliation.

    Enter the behavioral interview: Based on the hypothesis that your future is based on your past.

    Pure Genius! Aren’t modern minds frightening?

    Questions are designed to draw out ‘real life’ experiences were you needed to take action to resolve a ‘challenge’.

    You need to:

    Briefly explain the situation
    What you did
    What you said
    How you felt
    What you thought
    The outcome
    What you learned

    The shaved ape doing the candidate screening or hiring is looking for behaviors someone else has probably decided are important to the success of the position.

    Because you are going to lie during the interview you can take comfort from the fact that the behaviors being searched for (Not the Skills) are rarely actually used on the job.

    If you get asked behavioral questions about ‘team’ experience – what do you think is the actual day-to-day managerial culture and practice of the business? Go on, three guesses…
    There are many good and fictitious reasons for this disconnect between what an organization tries to believe what is going on and actual reality. But this subject alone is worth volumes so I won’t go into it now.

    The important thing to remember is, like any great performance you need to do your research, learn your lines and rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

    What if you don’t have successful career stories to draw on?

    Borrow TV sitcom plots
    Certain reality TV elements can ad drama
    But sure to replace elements and names to cover your tracks and add legitimacy to your enterprise, e.g.: replace Jack with Jill and replace rat with working lunch.

    What if you’re asked what is your strongest or weakest trait?

    Simple, you don’t believe in strong or weak characteristics. Everyone has
    characteristics that can be a good or bad match for a situation.

    A methodical detailed oriented person might make a fantastic auditor, but not be
    able to make quick managerial decisions. So it is more a matter of understanding
    yourself and your tendencies and compensating for them in light of the situation
    and needs at hand.

    Smile.

    Wait for them to speak first.

  • Evil Clown


  • Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn

    - Barenaked Ladies, Pinch Me

    -----

    Image filtch:
    Beyond Hollywood
    http://www.beyondhollywood.com/moviepics/officespace9.htm

    ##

    Thursday, February 16, 2006

    Naked Clown Tries To Make A Point

    One Man Festival Of The Oppressed

    If the image doesn't display, go here:
    Screaming "They're Trying To Recolonize My Brain!" multicentric tries to re-dematerialize the Body Object as Discourse.

    Earlier he had been seen chanting between bouts of jogging or charging the crowd:

    ‘Automatism, Autonomy and the Clown Unconscious!’

    You don’t understand,” he exclaimed as he was wrestled to the ground, “this critic is independent of Postcolonial or Queer Theories! Anti-essentialist politics employ the inclusive identity politics of racist hierarchy but fail to understand its ultimate rationalization!”

    “Ouh! My Nads!”

    “Semiotic guerrilla warfare was always a hoax!”

    “I’m not relying on mere exoticism; I have a point here somewhere!”

    “Theoretical interpretation of hybridity highlights the necessity of socio-geo-racial-sexual-political location - But that’s not all that we are!”

    Police would only comment that the clown seemed to be an overwrought Manichaean who had misread Plato and hadn’t read Saint Augustine.

    Shopping continued as usual.

    Evil Clown

    -----

    She Loves Me!:

    "Evil Evil Clown is a serious wake-up call for all who cherish traditional values, the innocence of children, and the very existence of our great country." - Dr. Laura Schlesinger

    -----

    Image Blame:
    Nividhia

    ##

    Fiend With Angel Wings Plotting Her Next Social Move

    Evil Clown Pauses To Give Much Needed Hair Advice

    The most important thing I have to say to you clowns today is that hair matters.

    This is a life lesson my family did not teach me, Wellesley and Yale failed to instill in me: the importance of your hair.

    Your hair will send very important messages to those around you. It will tell people who you are and what you stand for. What hopes and dreams you have for the world.

  • Evil Clown


  • devotion is its own rewarded

    -----

    Image Blame:
    David F. Peterson
    http://www.pbase.com/dpeterso/
    Happy Clown

    ##

    Wednesday, February 15, 2006

    Evil Clown Finds The After Life Kills Me

    Scrapiteria Hysteria

    Collage
    Curios
    Papier Collé
    Decollage
    Montage

    Recent salons include:

    Heavenly Bodies, Good vs Evil, Ancestors Fears,
    What the Hell?, The After Life Kills Me (pictured), hell freezes over, Dantes Inferno and more...

    I wish They'd do Evil Clown Collage too..

  • Evil Clown


  • -----

    Art is a winnow to a clown's soul. Without it, would we be able to see beyond this immediate world; or the world see the clown within?

    Litotes The Clown

    ##

    Tuesday, February 14, 2006

    Hey Kids, Listen At The Keyhole

    Signs That Your Parents Are In League With Evil Clowns

    Are your parents behaving oddly?

    Are they engaging in suspicious thoughts or activity?

    Let us know if your parents are:

    Communicating with people you don’t know.

    Gathering intelligence from various non-TV sources – like reading.

    Won’t let you play video games that will prepare you for the struggles ahead.

    Discuss dirty foreign countries.

    Use foreign sounding words you don’t understand:

    U.N.
    Malapropism
    Kinetoscope
    Ad hominem
    Unconscionable
    Empirical

    Save Yourself, Reap The Rewards!

    Evil Clown

    -----

    "It's a nightmare. It has to be a nightmare!"

    "But whose, yours or mine?"

    - The Twighlight Zone: "Five Characters in Search of an Exit"

    -----

    Image Credit:
    The Landover Baptist Church
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

    ##

    Monday, February 13, 2006

    Children Clowns And The US Nuclear Regulatory Agency

    Some Evil Clowns Are Official
    Some Are Not
    Some Mean To Be Funny
    Some Mean To Be Scary


    Student's Corner

    Nuclear energy is a way to generate heat using the fission process of atoms. A nuclear power plant converts the heat into electricity. What could be wrong with that?

    All owners of nuclear power plants must have emergency plans, but still can't buy private insurance.

    These plans allow workers and people who live near the plants to know how to handle emergencies.

    Federal, state and local governments work together in case people need to be evacuated or other actions taken to protect local residents - just like in Hurricanes, Flooding or other Natural Disasters.

    All nuclear power plants practice regular drills (think a REALLY important fire drill at your school) on a regular basis. These drills simulate a serious accident to test the emergency plan.

    Also See: Teachers Corner


    The purpose of this site is to establish separate and distinct teaching units on nuclear-related subjects that can be taught in the classroom. And, in some instances, the instructional units can be modified to be taught by teachers with varying degrees of knowledge in this subject area.

  • Litotes The Clown


  • George could not resist. He simply HAD to open it.

    ##

    Evil Clown Suggests They Remember All The Good Things That Happened Over

    Pacification Force Returns To Adulation - All The Horror, Half The Casualties

    The most gratifying was seeing hundreds of students from Holy Central, Sacred and Reverent Affirmation High School lining the streets of Revered Deceased Leader Road.

    It was not long ago that these veterans attended those same schools, and never in their wildest dreams did they ever consider being part of an international conflict.

    In the past many vets came home to ridicule and scorn after serving their country in unpopular invasions.

    I'm sure the emotions were mixed for these war heroes.

    As much as they had to love the slow stately pace the buses drove to display them to the crowds, including current high schoolers who will soon take up their part in the eternal struggle, I'm sure they wished they could just get to the armory to see their families.

    As much as the wonderful mindless fervor of residents meant, rushing into the arms of their families in front of crowds of journalists and those participating via television what this long slow trip was all about.

    For those that lived, it had to be one of the highlights of their lives, and a memory to beat just about anything else and comfort them in the long weeks and months of readjustment to come.

    Everyone was happy and excited to see our friends and neighbors return from foreign shores, where they did their part to help that country rebound from a war that continues to cause turmoil, injury, death and controversy.

    Luckily this group came home virtually unscathed from their tour of duty. Having avoided injury to their bodies, but the amount of injury to their hearts and souls and minds may not be known for years.

    I suggest they remember all the good things that happened over there and the entire experience, but don't forget some of the bad things.

    Life is so precious, and after going through the turmoil and danger of war, that means so much more in the comfort of being home.

  • Litotes The Clown


  • Like a Buddha, cultivate that tranquil place at least once day and, if necessary, call that focus to mind as you kneel for the boss, kill a rat for smokes and favors or ignore the homeless.

    -----

    Inspired by true writing:
    Happy homecoming a great start The Daily Press
    www.dailypress.net/letters/ story/0128202006_let02-l0127.asp

    -----

    Inappropriate photos?

    http://farmville.net/2004/20040523/
    http://farmville.net/2004/20040523/images/20040523_69.jpg

    http://www.troop433.pair.com/id104.htm
    http://www.troop433.pair.com/7010bb20.jpg


    ##

    Saturday, February 11, 2006

    I No Evil Clowns, Evil Clowns Are Friends Of Mine, You're Know Evil Clown

    What do:
    http://mk23.image.pbase.com/u29/nividhia/large/17237407.wow35.jpg
    John Wayne
    Douglas MacArthur
    Harold Lloyd
    J. Edgar Hoover
    Ernest Borgnine
    Buzz Aldrin

    have in common with a secret society of clowns?


    Ask a Shriner. The fun and games branch of Freemasonry has been oft painted in the same conspiratorial brush as the Masons themselves. Murdered in the Tens Of Thousands by Nazis on the one hand and accused of being in charge of a New One Religion World Order on the other, its a wonder they have any sense of humor of giving at all.

    But giving they do.

    The men in the fezzy little hats and the clown cars give more to charity than many governments and have helped perhaps millions of children and teens with medical treatment free of cost regardless of race, religion or creed.

    If you see one of these guys at a convention or parade and they creep you out because of their wet eyes, stale beer breath, pallid complexion and musty breath - chill out. For a secret society; they have a lot of paperbacks written about them. For evil clowns; well they love children. As for world domination; we could do worse.

  • Litotes The Clown


  • I.S.C.A. Mid-Winter
    Calgary, AB
    Focus is Shrine Clowning
    Event starts on: Feb 15, 2006
    Event Website: http://www.al-azhar.ab.ca/clowns/index_files/page455.htm
    Event Region: Mountain
    Country: Canada
    Event Type: Type is Convention
    Event Focus: Focus is Shrine Clowning
    Event Near: Calgary
    Event State: Alberta

    -----

    There's no better cover than a well known secret society.
    - Litotes The Clown

    -----

    Image Cred:

    3rd Place
    Lyle "Raspy" Adams
    Arab
    http://www.abdallah-clowns.org/cssca/

    ##

    Thursday, February 09, 2006

    Now That's Evil Inside

    Blasé Gear Gets Me Down. Why Not Spice Up Life With An Evil Clown?

    Don’t get me wrong, I dislike fashion puff, but on the other hand I can’t stand the monotony of corporately prescribe uniformity. A monoculture of thought begins with a bland exterior that bleeds inwards.

    I particularly like the juxtaposition of faux wood veneer contrasted with the shocking gloss of an evil trickster trivialized to cartoon proportions.

    The hidden space beyond the ‘content’ is most telling. This is a kind of Pandora’s Box - and something most don’t really understand is trying to claw its way out. It’s rapped in friendly colors and it’s in a harmless archetype, right?

  • Litotes The Clown


  • Mark: Go ahead, say something trivial and pithy!
    Litotes The Clown: OK, you’re trivial and pithy!
    Mark: That’s lame.
    Litotes The Clown: No, your mother is lame, but I banged here anyway.

    -----

    Credit: Smooth Creations
    http://news.com.com/2300-1041_3-6032361-3.html?tag=ne.gall.pg
    The "evil clown" is an original design from Smooth Creations' staff.

    ##

    Reverend Harris, Clowne

    More Or Less Correct, Perhaps Not Entirely Wrong

    Clowne is a peasant village situated in North East Derbyshire. Once an important minor area, it is now predominantly, residual.

    It is more or less correct to say that Clowne has become merely a shrub of its brawling neighbour Sheffield.

    Since Neolithic times Clowne has retained its own unique identity crisis.

    Although heavy metal is a thing of the past, several small highly efficient bands are based in and around the village. With the opening of the Busy-ness Park, more and more busyness people are moving into the area.

    Only 1 mile away, the M1 ignores Clowne, making it ideally placed bandits for the whole area.

    A major centre of edication (North Derbyshire College of Remedial Averageness), Clowne is rapidly becoming the largest village (by weight) in this part of the county.

    A forward looking village, afraid of the past, Clowne and its ‘people’ a special feeling of community. Although pretty in high summer, the highlight of Clowne's year is surely the build up to XXXmas, when literally millions of "fairy lights " turn the village into a magical site. Twice winners of "Calendar TV's XXXmas Light Competition", the sight truly has to be seen to be believed.

    http://www.any-village.co.uk/main.asp?SiteID=AVUK&SpecID=clowne

    Map of Clowne, Derbyshire GB

    http://www.geocities.com/ccourier2001/Welcome.html

  • Litotes The Clown


  • -----

    Niche Market? Currently there are no sponsored links on Google or Yahoo for "report terrorist"

    However:

    Sponsored Link for "terrorist handbook" on Google:

    View Homes For Sale USA
    Homes, Foreclosures, Listings
    Free Mls Search In Your City
    www.Usa-Home-Search.com



    -----

    Image Cred:
    Michael Whitehead
    http://www.any-village.co.uk/PictureGallery.asp?Town=Clowne&County=Derbyshire

    ##

    Tuesday, February 07, 2006

    Evil Clown Tortures Clown And The Audience

    The Modern Art Of Scatology

    Bruce Nauman, Clown Torture: Clown Taking a Shit, 1987:
    http://www.pbase.com/image/8993565


    The noise is chaotic and deafening.

    A disoriented and devastating exhibition of motion and color to the point of overload and abstraction.

    Elliptical Clown: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off; who was left? Repeat.

    If this isn’t bad enough.

    With one monitor turned upside-down and the other placed on its side, the images become abstracted and disorienting.

    A screaming clown, hurling agony at an anonymous torturer, you the viewer?

    Failing Clown balancing goldfish bowls and water pails.

    Clown taking dump in public restroom.

    Wow, that’s deep.

    I now find myself question my complicity in ‘Clown Torture’.

    And despite the headache I find the ‘works’ alluding to insanity, political torture, surveillance, the fakery if reality TV, Abu Ghraib disguises and the brutality of anonymity and pranks is making complex crystallizations in my mind.

    A yawning chasm opens and I see connections between history and theatre, a clown taking a crap and the casual cruelty of empires.

    Sure.

    How much did I pay at the door?

  • Litotes The Clown

  • The Practice of Coercion

    Coercive procedures are designed to exploit the resistant source's internal conflicts and induce him to wrestle with himself and bring a superior outside force to bear upon the subject's resistance.

    Success rise steeply if the coercive technique is matched to the source's personality. Individuals react differently even to such seemingly non-discriminatory stimuli as drugs. Moreover, it is a waste of time and energy to apply strong pressures on a hit-or-miss basis if a tap on the psychological jugular will produce compliance.

    -----

    Image Incredulous
    Bruce Nauman, Clown Torture: Clown Taking a Shit, 1987
    http://www.pbase.com/image/8993565
    He studied mathematics and physics at the University of Wisconsin, and art with William T. Wiley and Robert Arneson at the University of California in Davis.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Nauman

    ##

    Monday, February 06, 2006

    First-Run Syndication, Franchise And Affiliation

    Bad Clown Plans To Feather Cell With Residuals

    Part Thrice: Happy Ending In Prison May Lead To Reruns

    For:
    Part One: You’re Just An Evil Clown Unless It’s Televised
    Part Deuce: Rockford Files Redux


    The brothers’ messy and nationally televised reunion on a 4 minute segment on Oprah about ‘Family That’s Turns In Family’ sparked interest in the right places.

    Both are now in production for a reality show tentatively titled American Brothers.

    The show compares and contrasts the brothers as they try to piece together and get on with their lives and develop a sense of family after years of absences.

    At the same time they are working on a sitcom treatment about two very different brothers trying to work together and a reality TV show tentatively called Hard Time.


  • Litotes The Clown


  • Consciousness is a scare resource.

    -----

    Image Cred:
    French Blog
    www.fblog.fr

    ##

    Thursday, February 02, 2006

    The Most Rapid Adoption Of ANY Technology In History

    Evil Clown Taken Aback By Intelligent Podcast About Blogging

    As a blogger, marketer and Evil Clown I was particularly delighted with this intelligent and in depth interview.

    Episode 11: Shel Israel discusses his and Robert Scoble's 2005 book, "Naked Conversations".

    Learn about:
    Deuced
    Astro Turfed
    Who shouldn't Blog
    Google and Microsoft Help China Repress Its People
    And more

    I have listened to all the shows in order and have been well pleased by the Quality of the conversations.

    The Podcast: The Invisible Hand Podcast

    The Blog:
    Invisible Handwriting: A podcaster's blog
    The companion blog to "The Invisible Hand Podcast" and "The Invisible Finger Podcast" traces my efforts to make a living in business podcasting.

    Naked Conversations by Robert Scoble, Shel Israel

    Robert Scoble helps run Microsoft’s Channel 9 Web site. He began his blog in 2000 and now has more than 3.5 million readers every year. Scoble’s blog has earned acclaim in Fortune magazine, Fast Company, and The Economist.

    An Excerpt from Naked Conversations:

    Bloggings's Six Pillars: There are six key differences between blogging and any other communications channel. You can find any of them elsewhere. These are the Six Pillars of Blogging:

    1.Publishable. Anyone can publish a blog. You can do it cheaply and post often. Each posting is instantly available worldwide.

    2.Findable. Through search engines, people will find blogs by subject, by author, or both. The more you post, the more findable you become.

    3.Social. The blogosphere is one big conversation. Interesting topical conversations move from site to site, linking to each other. Through blogs, people with shared interests build relationships unrestricted by geographic borders.

    4.Viral. Information often spreads faster through blogs than via a news service. No form of viral marketing matches the speed and efficiency of a blog.

    5.Syndicatable. By clicking on an icon, you can get free "home delivery" of RSS- enabled blogs into your e-mail software. RSS lets you know when a blog you subscribe to is updated, saving you search time. This process is considerably more efficient than the last- generation method of visiting one page of one web site at a time looking for changes.

    6.Linkable. Because each blog can link to all others, every blogger has access to the tens of millions of people who visit the blogosphere every day.

    You can find each of these elements elsewhere. None is, in itself, all that remarkable. But in final assembly, they are the benefits of the most powerful two-way Internet communications tool so far developed.


  • Litotes The Clown



  • I take no credit, you only give it to me.


    ##

    Rockford Files Redux

    Evil Clown Reality TV Commentator/Faker

    For part one of this drivel: You’re Just An Evil Clown Unless It’s Televised

    Part Deuce:

    “When I finally got on the air Jeff had become international news, thank God the chase lasted so long.” Emotionally he says, “I had barely been on 15 minutes before that punk newscaster was trying to shuffle me off the air to talk to a junior producer.

    I was depressed because I could tell my time was up and because I hadn’t realized until that moment that Jeff was really way more famous than me.”

    But fate stepped in a second time.

    Ray explains, “I was watching the chase with the sound off and without thinking blurted out that Jeff was about to ‘pull a ‘bootleggers’ turn.’’”

    “We had both watched a lot of Dukes Of Hazzard and religiously studied the sweet move on the Rockford Files. We know those shows cold.”

    An excited Ray just took over the show and for the next 12 minutes made television history, predicting several of his brother’s moves and their television and movie significance, “After the 180 and wrong way run onto the on ramp to the freeway I totally channeled To Live And Die In LA which is still arguably the best car chases of all time.”

    By the end Ray was emotionally exhausted as the chase came to a dramatic conclusion, “I can’t describe how I’m feeling right now. I’m crushed and relieved and I’m so sorry Jeff this is the greatest moment of my life. I just feel like, thanks for being there for me, thanks for making it happen.”

    Part Thrice...
    First-Run Syndication, Franchise And Affiliation Bad Clown Plans To Feather Cell With Residuals



  • Litotes The Clown

  • Evil Clown Quiz:

    Which is the more useful belief?

    A) People who work hard die broken and poor
    B) People who work hard make great employees
    C) People who work hard are afraid of losing their job
    D) People who work hard are disposable
    E) People who work hard read past the end

    -----

    Image:
    Wikipedia, The Rockford Files
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rockford_Files

    ##

    Wednesday, February 01, 2006

    Apprentice Without Magician

    Evil Clown Waxes Symptomatically Rhapsodic About His Youth

    The man that gouged out his eyes tried to tell me about real seeing but I learned about shadow and light from the boy in the red hat with the cobwebs and blood and ash in his mouth. He gave me a single rose.

    I learned that you don’t see what you see, at the movies, when I talked with the actors about the man in the red car and the woman I’d later shoot in another theatre.

    Dust now covers the last dishes she washed by hand in her little apartment sink in the tiny walk-up.

    Sometimes I go there and sit on the couch.

    In the meantime I go to high school when I’m not looking for serial killers or sitting in the bar where they only play the blue music and all the drinks are always free.

    I feel haunted and threatened by the man who walks alone in the rain. He has churned up all our yesterdays.

    He was formed out of a younger America to eat up our tomorrows and bring about the end of all worlds. He owns a nightclub in DC and may have sold out on a world of no tomorrows to bring impossible intra-spatial beings into now from never.

    I can’t beat him but I’m not too afraid because I have died twice before. Once by choice.

    I don’t know what it’s all for but you have to draw-draw the sticks somewhere and stand even if you’ll never know if you’re wrong.

    Once I was being devoured and desperately devoured back and so like two snakes devouring each other’s tails we became one. She became my sister and went to live deep in the earth. I dream her and we changed the way we feel and see everything.

    I live in a bunker with a girl whose bird talks to her and she answers back. She wears a big black hat marked with the Hanged Man and she can walk a very very long way without going very far at all.

    My friend Kyle used to be an FBI agent before I died but now he goes to high school with me.

    We are in a band together called Defenestration, which I have never done. We play gothic alternative rock because it’s more logical.

    When I dream, it’s not that things come true but that things are true.

    That’s how I found the malt shop, though they were trying to bring me there, and that’s how I found the way that led me out of NASA and the man with no body and I suppose, in a way, why I drive with my eyes closed.

    The Italian man from the government doesn’t understand. He is good and is almost my enemy but I help him and throw around darkness so he can’t see me even though I’m not bad… Maybe.

    Of course there is always a lot of stuff I forget to mention. Like my banker friend who is pernicious anaemia, the child who is her parents’ and dog’s only reason for living, the dogs who think they are men, the hunters looking to kill shadows, the magicians who long for illusion.

    I have seen a lot of dead bodies. Worse than a TV’s amateur sleuth. I wouldn’t hang around me if I were me but I’m not and nobody know the full extent of it really anyway.

    A lot of those bodies… that was me.

  • Litotes The Clown

  • Some memories are harder than others.


    ##

    Evil Clown Asks Morbid Practical Or Funny

    Be Your Own Undertaker - How to Dispose of a Dead Body

    Being forced to kill somebody in justifiable self-defense is a sad reality of today's society!

    Unfortunately, it's also a sad reality that you might be prosecuted for your actions by a corrupt, incompetent "justice" system.

    If you ever find yourself in such a mess, A.R. Bowman has some wild, tongue-in-cheek answers to your problems in this outrageous study of the dark art of free-lance corpse disposal!

    In Be Your Own Undertaker, he explores all of the delicate options - as well as the gruesome "how-to" details - of making sure that that it's the thugs body rotting away unjustly in some prison cell!

    by A. Bowman

  • Litotes The Clown


  • Friends help you move.
    Real friends help you move bodies.

    -----

    Image Cred:

    Molly Parker as Sandra Larson in Kissed (1996)
    Love Knows No Bounds.
    www.filmreferencelibrary.ca

    ##

    Clown Suggests Healing Strategies For Folks

    Give Yourself What You Wish Your Mother Would Give You...

    Evil Clown Special Bonus Free Add On Advice: If You're Not Flexible Enough, Try A Handjob

    You have a choice, be an emotional cripple and martyr the rest of your pathetic life or you can walk it off. It's as simple as that.

    What's wrong with you people? I only ever have one piece of advice! Do you know how hard that is to stretch out in book after book and show after show?

    Beat your head against a wall or take back your power, blah, blah, blah!

    You only have control of you (if that)!


  • Litotes The Clown


  • -----

    As such, reaching out to bloggers, either through sending them news and information about new products or industry happenings, posting comments on their sites or engaging them through other relationship-building methods, can help get the word out and increase publicity in an authentic-feeling way.

    From Marketing Man Speaks With Forked Tongue, Subjugating Subversion.

    ##

    You’re Just An Evil Clown Unless It’s Televised

    Two Heterosexual Men Rediscover Familial Love Behind Bars

    How can two men who were raised by the same TV grow up to be so different?

    Some would say that it is one of life’s little mysteries; some would argue vehemently it is a case of their choices.

    Two brothers.

    One a struggling actor eking out a living as an extra in movies and television and part time clown, spending his time hustling parts and auditioning for reality TV pilots, quiz shows, game shows, polishing his tape for news and weather spots.

    He is socially conscious and volunteers his time reading public service announcements for a community access cable station. He is most famous for being verbally assaulted for his ill-conceived Imerican Adle tryout.

    The other known for his menacing and grainy images on convenience store security footage, orgiastic crime spree, court TV appearances, taunting video taped messages to police, Outrageous Chases footage, and a special segment on America’s Most Hunted.

    The brothers hadn’t talked to each other in years. Brought together by fate and Television.

    “I was scanning TV stations as part of my daily research, and I was like, hey, that’s Jeff! Holly Crap! What’s he doing in Tennessee?” Rae called the station when he realized that the footage was live to offer background and color commentary.

    Part Deuce: Rockford Files Redux

  • Litotes The Clown


  • -----

    A jester unemployed is nobody's fool!
    - Court Jester, The (1956)

    Image Cred:
    The M Files
    mfiles.livejournal.com

    City of Maumee, Crime Stoppers
    www.maumee.org

    ##
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