Evil Clown Band Slipknot Furious At Parody

Notorious Drug Fueled Evil Clowns Fight To Protect Hard Earned ‘Brand’ Reputation From Soulless Corporation.

Corporate Fast Food heavyweight Burger King tried to awaken from its deep slumber recently with a Parody of Super Bad Band Slipknot. They sponsored a band called Coq Roq and launched a new chicken strip.

The Humane Society was not amused by the ‘Subservient Chicken’ overtones of the campaign and were disturbed by what they perceived as the promotion of cockfighting. Sauces include creamy buffalo, barbecue, honey mustard, sweet and sour, and ranch.

Campaign ads feature clips from music videos, including: "Cross the Road" and "Bob Your Head."

Lawyers are famous for their sense of humor; Slipknot representatives wrote a cease and desist letter and then the lawsuits got underway.

Chicken Fries Not In Keeping With Band’s Evil Market Position

Slipknot is well known for songs such as:

People = Shit!
The Heretic Anthem
Wait And Bleed
Car Bomb

They have worked hard to claim their market position and maintain their market share in the face of growing competition from imitators and new entrants to the market. Chicken strips are just not subversive enough, it seems, to increase their share of wallet among their primary target demographic.

When Burger King was asked to comment on its counter suit and the apparent bad taste of the Marketing Strategy they would only comment:

“Our delicious-nutritious thin chicken strips are coated with a tasty batter and served in a portable container with a built-in well for the delectable dipping sauce.”

Asked for comment on the Humane Society’s concern Burger King would only reply:

“The packaging is designed to fit into a car cup holder!“

“The suggested retail price for new BK chicken fries is $1.69 for a six-piece snack order, $2.69 for a nine-piece meal and $3.99 for a nine-piece value meal. Be sure to get the value price correct in your copy,” they admonished reporters.

Related infotainment:
www.thesmokinggun.com
www.bizjournals.com
www.eonline.com
www.eonline.com

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“In a way, there's no such thing as bad publicity. If you're causing a stir you're going to be talked about, so maybe that's what they're hoping for. Other than that …to me, it's nonsense. It's a joke, suing Burger King. I mean, who in Slipknot is a chicken? Which guy?”
- SlipKnot

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Why Is This Man Wearing A Clown Face On His Crotch?

Does Nike Think This Kind Of Behavior Is Funny?

Subvert subversion to sell merde. As a near pure brand Nike has nothing to sell but… its… well… brand.

And brand is about lifestyle, aspirations and strong emotions.

Q: Which line of overpriced shoes represents who you are as a person?

A: All of them you shallow mindless fusker.

Nike is the winged Pagan Goddess of victory who runs and flies at great speeds. She is a shape-shifter that can appear in any guise.

But Nike is also part of the Modern Marketing Pantheon as the Deity of Brand.

How many supposed Christians wear this symbol, part Pagan God / part Secular God to church?

Greed, love of money, lust, envy?

When one child kills another child for shoes it is not only a travesty and a sin, it is a Blood Sacrifice on an Unholy Alter. This is the path of Sin that leads to Satan.

Who, but an Evil Clown, could work children in poverty like slaves to sell sacrilegious abomination to other children in a frenzy of greed, envy and Blood Lust?

They revel in their illicit and obscene profits and thrive on the chaos and moral emptiness they sow.

Who but an Evil Clown could market this scheme for their master Lucifer?

Who would defend the Devil with a straight face?

Nike even has its own Prayer – to itself!

It’s called a Brand Mantra. A mantra is a sacred Pagan verbal formula repeated in prayer, meditation, or incantation, such as an invocation of a God, a magic spell, or a syllable or portion of scripture containing mystical potentialities.

Nike’s is: Authentic Athletic Performance

It has even been suggested that 2 Nike executives contemplated getting a few of the shoe buyers killed at random to spur sales of their latest shoe. This is obviously expanding on kids getting mugged for their sneakers. [Paraphrased from Jennifer Government]

Now, ‘Michael Jordan mugged for sneakers’ is hilarious, this is not.

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"All anybody has to do is call a Nike factory a 'sweatshop' that's 12,000 miles away, and how do you prove it or disprove it?"

- Phil Knight, founder of Nike

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Evil Clown Markets Perversion For Profits

McDonald’s Japan replaces baggy-pants clown Ronald McDonald with a sexy teen clad in a skimpy red and white bikini, thigh high leggings, come pump me pumps, androgynous metrosexuals and cross dressing.

It is a mistake to assume that Evil Clowns’ primary purpose is to pervert or convert the innocence of children with ambiguous sexuality and corruption or that Evil Clowns are at war against Judeo-Christian culture for it’s own sake (the Japanese worship Foreign Gods).

Most often corruption and dissipation are sold in the guise of freedom and choice; Culture, history, tradition, morals or other aspects of our lives that we hold dear are just collateral damage or in the way of squeezing extra margin out of a happy meal.

This is not to say that there are not those who are selling lies that will destroy the country for its own sake, just that it does seem to be the case here.

The art and science of mind control that has been used to sell us audacious lies, obesity and diabetes will now sell you cross-dressing and metrosexuals in the name of a healthy diet.

An evil evil clown does not hesitate to proclaim the truth about these fraudsters: Truth is making its last stand in the minds of our children and an Evil Clown will stop at NOTHING to win.

Also, it is pretty clever to distract us with an apparent attempt at selling wholesome food to Cross-dressers & sodomites from legitimate concerns about Mad Cow Disease, union busting and food that doesn’t taste good.

Are we shocked and outraged by this move or do we barely notice?

In Unrelated News:

The fast-food giant McDonald’s May Use Gas Chamber To Administer ‘More Humane Death’

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Evil Marketing Clown Speaks:

"Ronald loves McDonald's and McDonald's food. And so do children, because they love Ronald. Remember, children exert a phenomenal influence when it comes to restaurant selection. This means you should do everything you can to appeal to children's love for Ronald and McDonald's."

- McDonald's official & confidential 'Operations Manual'

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Clyde the Clown Coloring Contest

You could have won a $50 gift certificate to Toys 'R' Us

Clowns are often used in comics, illustrated texts and other visual aids to capture the attention of younger people - to educate them about important topics.

The good people at the North Carolina Department of Labor (Elevator and Amusement Device Bureau) had just such a scheme at work for their Rider Safety Campaign:

Enter the N.C. Department of Labor's Coloring Contest!
You could win a $50 gift certificate to Toys 'R' Us



The N.C. Department of Labor is sponsoring a coloring contest for kids in grades K-5 as part of a campaign to keep riders safe at local fairs.

How to enter:

Download a free copy of our coloring contest sheet here.
Color Clyde the Clown.
Mail your entry to the N.C. Department of Labor, Communications Office, 1101 Mail Service Center, Raleigh, NC 27699-1101.
[(919) 807-2796 or 1-800-NCLABOR]
Entries will be accepted from August 15 through October 23.
Drawings will begin in September and continue through October.

Twelve lucky kids will win $50 gift certificates to Toys 'R' Us.

Winners will be contacted by phone, so be sure to include your contact information.

Winning names will also be posted on our Web site.

Download the Coloring Sheet

Though the contest is over I found it inspirational. I even found a whole rider safety clown coloring book here.

This is my evil clown drawing (see page 4):


Maybe it’s for the best that the contest is closed.

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According to an online children's survey, children who were asked which they trusted more, their parents or their computers, mostly voted for their computers.

- J. Healy, 1998. Failure to Connect: How Computers Affect Our Children's Minds - for Better and Worse.

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Getting Started

This is an Evil Evil Clown marketing test.

It is according to the shapes that I lay my plans for victory,
but the multitude does not comprehend this.

Although all can see the outward aspects,
none understands the way in which I have created victory.

Sun Tzu

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Keep a smile on your face and the whole world

will have no idea what you're planning.