My Evil Clowning Technique Is Unstoppable

For The Children



Litotes: "That coward."

Accountant #3: "Our CEO is not a coward!"

Litotes: "Ha ha ha, where is he then, swapping fart jokes at the water cooler?"

Assistant Support Manager (quietly): "Looks like the 3 of us will have to fight on our own. We'll go with the plan we discussed. Got it?"

Temp Receptionist: "Y..yeah. First I distract him as much as I can."

Accountant #3: "I'll look for an opening and grab hold."

Assistant Support Manager: "Then I hit him with everything I have!"

Accountant #3: "Right! Don't fcuk up!"

Temp Receptionist: "Shouldn't we call security or something?"

Litotes: "What are you muttering about? It's no use. What can the likes of you do?"

Accountant #3: "We'll show you right now!"

Litotes smiles and starts to slowly move towards them.

Assistant Support Manager (Temp Receptionist): "Hurry! Now! Flash him your man boobs!"

Temp Receptionist: "Alright. Here I go!"

Litotes flashes a picture: "That gets attached to your profile... Now you'll never get full time or dental - ever!"

Accountant #3 dives in: "I've got him! Oh, he's gooey and slippery! Hurry!"

Assistant Support Manager begins to run at Litotes screaming: "AAaaaahhh!"

Temp Receptionist: "Alright!"

Litotes smiles and drops his elbow into Accountant #3's head.

Temp Receptionist: "N..no way!"

Litotes: "My evil clowning technique is unstoppable! Now I will show you some real man boob"

Temp Receptionist: "No... don't!"

Litotes grabs Accountant #3's shirt as he begins to fall.

Temp Receptionist faints.

Assistant Support Manager stops dead in his tracks: "You still have to tell us about your dragonballs."

Litotes: "This isn't what you expected is it?! Did you think I'd let My weakness stay weak forever?"

Assistant Support Manager: "But what about the dragonballs!?"

Litotes pointing down: "Your shoe is untied? And you call yourself professional!"

Assistant Support Manager half looks down... too late.

Litotes (internal monologue: "I'll show you dragonballs!) left spritzer - right cross - kick to the dragonballs.

Litotes: "Too bad. This planet's strongest fighter is reduced to this with one hit."

Temp Receptionist coming around: "I can't take it anymore! I'm going to save myself!"

Assistant Support Manager voice choked and strangled: "Don't be stupid! If you go now, you'll be killed!"

Temp Receptionist: "I don't care! You haven't given me medical or a break, I'm leaving you here to die! Please sign my time card?"

Accountant #3: "Wait Calm down!"

Temp Receptionist: "Let me go Da! Let me go! I'm going! Da! I'm going! I'm going! I'll sign it myself!"

Accountant #3: "You'll be killed!"

Assistant Support Manager: "We believe in you. We know you're going to save this planet!"

Temp Receptionist fleeing to cross-over stairwell: "Not without medical I'm not!"

Accountant #3: "I'm never going to sign your time card! And I'm going to phone your agency too! The clown is right, you're never going to break out of temping you little whore!"

Litotes laughing kicks Assistant Support Manager in the gut again: "Too bad, I would like to have played with him a little more! Hey now - don't you wear out yet. Let me play a little longer."

Assistant Support Manager slowly gets up and coughs. He then puts his arm to his chin wiping away blood and seltzer: "That's it! I'll show you my best move!"

Litotes smiles: "Oh really? And would you be surprised if I already know what it is? Curious at all?"

Assistant Support Manager comes running forward screaming: "AAAaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Litotes stands calmly with a beatific smile under his pancake make-up.

Assistant Support Manager at the last possible moment arcs an office PBX, multifunction, VOIP capable, feature-rich standalone solution with 24 memory buttons telephone with handsfree option by it's cord towards the clown's head: "Have you tried REBOOTING!"

Litotes side steps and the phone crunches into the head of Accountant #3: "What a useless technique."

Assistant Support Manager stun turning to horror: "No... no, NO!"

Litotes removes the phone from Accountant #3 who slumps dull eyed and mutely over: "Why do you think I show up in person? I'd never let a ragamuffin like you put me on hold for hours! Ha ha ah!"

- Fin -

Evil Clown

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