You Might Be An Evil Clown Already

Don’t let them see that you are hurting, frightened and dying inside.

You know it’s all a sham or at least you are afraid that it might be. Is it paranoid to watch every look, listen to every word waiting for the hammer to fall?

Have you ever been accused, by yourself or others, of being emotionally unstable, insane or crazy? Do you go to meetings and only pretend to be there? Only pretending to take notes? Saying as little as possible? A mask of attentive interest?

Your painted face. The stench of lies. All you have to do is play ‘The Game’: be conventional, cultivate hypocrisy, always smile and never swear. Your own private little hell.

Clowns may have a glimpse of their own ugliness or of that of the larger world; they may somewhat knowingly struggle against it.

If they are cursed, they are as the idiot Cassandra, daughter of noble Priam; a seeress who knew the future and yet remained helpless to avert it; mocked into her grave by betrayal and murder. Jonah is her twin bother, he does prophesy and the people do believe, but God changes his mind and leaves Jonah high and dry on the deal.

Dispelling contradiction and hypocrisy makes all things possible, but is not allowed.

What does this do the mind? What does it do to the soul?

Colonel Walter E. Kurtz’s psychotic radio rantings intercepted by U.S. Army Signals Intelligence out of Cambodia during the Vietnamese – American War are more cogent if one acknowledges, at least for the sake of argument, that he is trying to reach ‘beyond [the] timid, lying morality [of politicians and the general staff]’.

It was observed that ‘The man [Kurtz] is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad.’

"They train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write fuck on their airplanes because it's obscene!" said Kurtz.

Is this, then, true delusion and mental illness or simply a case of rational moral insanity?

Evil Clowns have a vicious internal seed that flowers outward into expressions of devastation.

Everyone laugh at the Angry Clown.

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"Clowns always speak of the same thing, they speak of hunger; hunger for food, hunger for sex, but also hunger for dignity, hunger for identity, hunger for power. In fact, they introduce questions about who commands, who protests."

— Dario Fo (Italian playwright/fool)

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