Strategies Evil Clowns Apply To All Industries People And Situations

Swell And Exploit Your Gift With That Sexy Organ - Your Brain

This Skit requires:

Thug
Ruffian
Harvard Graduate
Entrepreneur


Thug robs tourist of $85.

Ruffian robs tourist of $85, leather wallet, watch, class ring and digital camera.

Harvard Graduate robs tourist of $85, leather wallet, watch, class ring and digital camera. Two days later, Graduate contacts tourist to blackmail tourist for class ring.

Entrepreneur robs tourist of $85, leather wallet, watch, class ring and digital camera. Later contacts tourist to blackmail tourist for class ring and pornographic pictures on digital camera.

Entrepreneur uses cash and credit cards as seed capital and pictures as inventory with tourist identity and starts porn content website anyway. Contacts tourist with follow-up emails and phone offers for insurance, pepper spray, self-defense classes, Viagra, penis enlargement, ebooks on how to avoid identity theft and rebuilding your credit rating.

What’s Happened So Far:
The prospect is motivated to make a purchase decision
The Entrepreneur has:
Targeted the right audience
Is offering workable solutions at an attractive price

Once an initial transaction has been made and the sales process ends in customer satisfaction the customer is more likely to buy again and again.

Customer retention/satisfaction is the name of the game:

It's 4 - 10 times more expensive to get a new customer than it is to resell an old one.
Increasing customer retention by 5% can increase profits by 25-95%!

Entrepreneur hires Graduate to recruit and manage Thug and Ruffian.

Litotes The Clown

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Take four red capsules; in ten minutes take two more. Help is on the way.
-Voice in medicine cabinet, THX 1138

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Image attributed to Uldi Hadju
http://www.i-needtoknow.com/kyle/coaches.html

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