Corporate Clown Shares Free Letter Of Resignation

Being A Friend In Deed, I Helped A Friend In Need
Because He Asked A Favor, I Share The Fruits Of My Labor

I have worked in those places too.

A friend (and coworker) asked for a ‘burn all bridges’ resignation letter that would say ‘kiss my ass’ with bigger words.

I was happy to oblige. Since then it has been an inspiration to me in dark times and places. I often keep it nearby, ready to fill out at a moments notice.

It has often acted like psychic armor, reminding me of my basic freedom, dignity and wit when others have tried to deny them on all counts.

Please feel free to use it literally or psychically, in its entirety or as a sample resignation letter to better spur your imagination.

Sometimes the relief of leaving a bad job can amount to an ecstasy. It can also add years to a much better life.

Today’s Date

To whom it may concern:

Please be advised that [You Name Here] Litotes regretfully submits his resignation effective immediately.

Regrettable, because, in the course of our lives we sometimes come across a place of work were we are welcomed and received, have the opportunity to grow and stretch and reach for our full potential.

The kind of place where you look forward to coming to work in the morning, where the faces in the office are more than just strangers or co-workers and you can feel pride in the contribution you make to the organization and the vital part you play on the team and in it’s success; where you are more than just a number.

Regrettable, because, this is not that kind of place and I should have realized it much sooner.

This is the kind of place where tyranny, sloth, avarice and the darker forces of the neo-corporatists' dire vision of a future in which there is no room for humanity, not only find a home but thrive in an atmosphere of degradation, fear and loathing.

This kind of jack-booted fen-heeled moralism is an embarrassment to good fascists everywhere and untenable to any freedom loving, democratic oriented person with a shred of common decency, sympathy or understanding.

Working here is the moral equivalent of working for unreliable pederasts pushing crack to preschoolers, only with fewer benefits, lower pay, less job satisfaction, longer hours, poorer working conditions and you.

My heart goes out to those few good souls, left here, chained by circumstance, to the rails of unremitting toil like galley slaves. Rest assured that I will work tirelessly for their escape, freedom and salvation.

I must, in the end, win over the forces of decay and entropy which you represent. The general level of incompetence and the appalling lack of organization, direction and leadership is only equaled in depth and degree by the level at which you are constantly and scornfully ridiculed.

Rest assured that I will make it my mission to expose this snake pit of pomposity and perversity and that yours will be the first back against the wall when the revolution comes.

Like incestuous shadows and their hideous off-spring the obscenities which you represent and perpetrate need only the full light of day to dispel them.

Yours in unremitting antagonism,

[Your Name Here]

Pax et Libertas

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When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bh3gyn~~if jv^yy IunirF ce@vin%7pl.

- Litotes the Clown

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Resources and Co-Conspirators:

Evil Evil Clowns' Lair

PentWhistle the Clown

Pills the Clown

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