Evil Clown Uses Humor As Self Defense

Preteen Cutup Easily Takes Control Of Classroom

Dear Litotes:

I have a Clowning questions:

As a teacher I love kids, but there is one little ‘class clown’ that I want to beat the snot out of. He works like a devil on overtime to make everyone laugh. I want to ring this imp’s neck. Why is he making my life miserable?

Signed
Tots Teacher

Dear Tots Teacher:

Shut your pie hole and quit whining. If ‘kids’ can control how you feel and what you do, you are more immature than they are.

It is easy to label such children as troublemakers, inadequate personalities, socially impaired or in some way just plain wrong.

What nonsense! Being intelligent, bored and having a working bullshit meter does not make them the problem – it makes you the problem.

At the other end of the scale, they may indeed be suffering from an inferiority complex, self doubt or some other form of pain. And that pain is not always so abstract.

Having the fen kicked out of you everyday in front the girls locker room or being unrepentantly bullied by your so called ‘peers’ has led to some great comic careers (e.g.: Jonathan Winters, Joan Rivers, Eddy Murphy and Chris Rock), but it’s no fusking fun.

Humor is not just a defense against pain – it is an offence against pain.

The point of humor is not necessarily to get every Cro-Magnon deficient in your school to like you.

Bullies are afraid of looking stupid in front of others. It is very effective way to make them respect, if not fear, the clown’s facility with witty ridicule and repartee.

But back to you.

My bet is that you are single and have low self esteem. Which is a shame because you have ‘so much love to give’. Translation: you are an emotional black hole and enjoy complaining about being treated like a doormat.

As a plaything to the whims of others I bet you are drowning in debt.

You got into teaching for the same misguided emotional feelings: You feel that you had an awful childhood and that you are a worthless human being.

Maybe you should ask yourself:

Have you ever made a student repeat a year so you could flirt with their parent?

Do you wake up mornings wishing you would never have to wake up again?

Do you pray to God that you would die or get so sick you could spend a long time in the hospital and not have to do anything, at all, ever again?

As for the clown, does he make you uncomfortable because he’s telling the truth? Are you a mediocre teacher? Are you overweight? Is school actually a black hole heck of a lot of fun?

The Clown you want to throttle is looking back at you from the mirror.

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Laugh, clown, laugh, even though your heart is breaking.
- Simon, aka Flok, 1928. Laugh, Clown, Laugh.

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Resources and Co-Conspirators:

Evil Evil Clowns' Lair

PentWhistle the Clown

Pills the Clown

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