Evil Clown Altered Thought Processes Lead To Magical Thinking
Quality Of Life Begins In Your Mind
I’m my therapist’s office one night; to kill time I read a book about Clinical Intervention. The slow, frequent but irregular light from passing cars gives plenty of light to read by if you are not in a hurry.
Later, as I go over the things on the desk and shelves, I wonder what it must be like working with psychopathology everyday. All the book titles are depressing and boring. Their spines sharp and pointed.
I check the plant and it seems adequately watered and in overall good condition. But it is thickening a bit much to one side; I give it an eighth of a turn so it gets light from a slightly different angle.
There is a large and small pad of paper and two sizes of post-it notes. I lightly sweep the surfaces of each with a pencil to expose writing from the sheet before. I careful fold them away for later.
I wonder, what drives someone to do this? You’re helping people, but being surrounded by psychos all day?
Holding up a few pieces of mail to the window hints at mundane correspondence from associations, conferences and a Nonviolent Crisis Intervention workshop.
I think I am aware that this is not appropriate.
Scanning a workbook with pages earmarked, I see that I have nine or ten of twelve of the relapse flags. I wonder if I should mention it at the next session?
All the staff have finally gone and the cleaners left hours ago. I’m nervous about the lock on the files, it’s giving me trouble. I can get it open without a problem, but it would be obvious. I’m at the point of yelling, I have that tension like stone in my muscles and I’m breathing through gritted teeth. I try to concentrate, but I can’t relax.
I don’t want to leave a mess or rifle everything to make it look nice and random. Suddenly, I’m so exhausted. I just need to sit and think.
I take a swig and then more. I’m real careful about not spilling and I always us plastic instead of glass. But I’m not even loose enough to unclench my teeth.
A car passes obnoxiously loud and for a moment I see myself surreally reflected in a glass frame and mixed with the picture behind. My lips stretched wide exposing teeth and gums, my face half lost in some pleasant pastel icon, one eye staring wildly, the other shifts transitorily out and in of darkness.
I wonder what drives someone to do this and my gritted teeth twist into a grin.
Technically I think it is a ‘Sensory-Perceptual Disturbance’ and I laugh like a wounded animal.
It is really time to go.
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Clowns are the best liars.
- Litotes The Clown
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Resources and Co-Conspirators:
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posted by Litotes The Clown at 5:29 PM
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